You Raise Them To Leave You

Published on Tuesday, April 2, 2013 by Katherine

The moment they are born, you hold them close. Only to slowly let them go. After all, a mother’s job is to raise her children to leave her. The ultimate sacrifice.

These last two weeks I’ve been quiet online. However, my life has been anything but that. The time I’ve been off, I have been preparing for my first bird to leave the nest. Tonight, officially, that bird has flown.

If you know me well, you know I made it through the winter alive… barely. Upon arriving in Corolla Friday night for our first trip of the season, a good friend of mine said to me, “Welcome home Katherine. It’s been a long winter.”

And I cried.

Our weekend included much sea glass hunting, dog walking, fishing, deer watching, grilling, church-going, Easter egg hiding, hiking, star gazing, fulgurite collecting, kayak maiden voyage taking, fox bone finding and…. Goodbye-saying.

The goodbye? My oldest did it. He scored his dream job, working at THE surf shop in Corolla.

How did it get from, “Grandma, if I apply for this job and get it, can I live at the beach house this summer?” to me sitting on my bed in Virginia while my son sits on the couch in Corolla?

Today, I had to say goodbye. And my house is one child short of the norm. Sure, I’ll see him most weekends over the summer. But technically, HE DOESN’T LIVE HERE ANYMORE. The dynamics of the house and my life have changed dramatically.

I’ve always said my heart is forever in Corolla. Now, it really IS in Corolla. At least 1/3 of it. I pushed him to go for his dream. I was positive. I encouraged him. Helped him. And cheered when he got the job. But inside? I was still holding that beautiful baby boy as close to my chest as I could get him. And between you and I?

I can hardly breathe.