You Raise Them To Leave You

Published on Tuesday, April 2, 2013 by Katherine

The moment they are born, you hold them close. Only to slowly let them go. After all, a mother’s job is to raise her children to leave her. The ultimate sacrifice.

These last two weeks I’ve been quiet online. However, my life has been anything but that. The time I’ve been off, I have been preparing for my first bird to leave the nest. Tonight, officially, that bird has flown.

If you know me well, you know I made it through the winter alive… barely. Upon arriving in Corolla Friday night for our first trip of the season, a good friend of mine said to me, “Welcome home Katherine. It’s been a long winter.”

And I cried.

Our weekend included much sea glass hunting, dog walking, fishing, deer watching, grilling, church-going, Easter egg hiding, hiking, star gazing, fulgurite collecting, kayak maiden voyage taking, fox bone finding and…. Goodbye-saying.

The goodbye? My oldest did it. He scored his dream job, working at THE surf shop in Corolla.

How did it get from, “Grandma, if I apply for this job and get it, can I live at the beach house this summer?” to me sitting on my bed in Virginia while my son sits on the couch in Corolla?

Today, I had to say goodbye. And my house is one child short of the norm. Sure, I’ll see him most weekends over the summer. But technically, HE DOESN’T LIVE HERE ANYMORE. The dynamics of the house and my life have changed dramatically.

I’ve always said my heart is forever in Corolla. Now, it really IS in Corolla. At least 1/3 of it. I pushed him to go for his dream. I was positive. I encouraged him. Helped him. And cheered when he got the job. But inside? I was still holding that beautiful baby boy as close to my chest as I could get him. And between you and I?

I can hardly breathe.

I’m back on the internetz grid and can’t wait to visit your blogs again. I’ll be enjoying your latest over the next two nights. See you soon!

Cheryl P.

Having you babies leave the nest is hard. On the plus side,,,how cool is that he got the job he wanted and you will get to see him regularly. What an awesome situation.
- Katherine Murray
  
  Cheryl, it really is the best of both worlds, to be honest. I worry he may not lock the doors, turn off the oven, all that stuff… but that goes with ANY parent and child. But to be able to see him… it is going to be awesome… and he is also learning how to do everything on his own… dishes, laundry…. it’s wonderful!
Ron

Katherine, this post brought tears to my eyes. It was sooooooooooooo beautifully expressed that I could FEEL your emotions in every word.

“The moment they are born, you hold them close. Only to slowly let them go. After all, a mother’s job is to raise her children to leave her. The ultimate sacrifice.”

I’m not parent, yet I oddly enough feel what it must be like to have a child leave the nest for the first time. I can still remember the look on my parents face when they dropped me off at the airport (when I was 17 years old) beginning my new life in NYC.

“I’ve always said my heart is forever in Corolla.”

Yup, that’s how I feel about NYC. It’s where my heart was born.

Sending ya a BIG hug, my friend….

(((((( You ))))))

X

P.S beautiful photos. the first and last are breathtaking!
- Katherine Murray
  
  Seventeen?!!?? You left at 17!?!?! WOW! Do you have a blog post about that? Why you left (acting)? How your parents let you? Where you stayed? Was it college? I would love to know more!
  - Ron
    
    Yes 17! And yes, I have several posts in my archives about it, but I think it was before you and I met, so you probably missed them. I lived in NYC for 5 years and then moved back to Florida, where I continued acting for the next 15 years.
Barb

I can totally empathize with this post. My oldest got married last year and lives with her new hubby…. it was hard knowing she would never live at home anymore. Our younger daughter has one year left of college, and if she gets her wish she will not be home this summer and will have a paid internship in D.C. Our youngest just finished his first year of college and will be home in May and must be back by early August. It is hard when they leave, almost unbearable… but your relationship with them evolves and becomes better because you can truly begin to enjoy the adults they have become. There are days when I take a walk down memory lane and wish I could go back and freeze time when they were little, and I cry a bit for hat lost time. Then I pick myself up and again wonder at what awesome people they have become.
- Katherine Murray
  
  OK Barb, your comment of all has made me cry! I feel the ache you described so beautifully! I am so blessed in that I can see him quite often, although for only a full day at a time. Your words about them leaving and it being unbearable… WOW! I can’t imagine what I will do with myself once my kids are gone. I’ll be looking at my calendar waiting for grandchildren I guess!
Linda R.

I don’t have human children (my cats are my kids), but I felt your joy for your son’s accomplishment and your pain at seeing him growing up and going out on his own. So go ahead and cry those happy/sad tears, and know you did good.
- Katherine Murray
  
  You know how I feel about animals Linda…. kitty cats are family…. there are joys and sorrows with cats too. I get to see my son tomorrow night… and guess how many times he has called me in three days? About six times! Woo hoo!
Cheryl

Sending big bear hugs, darlin’.
- Katherine Murray
  
  I NEED THEM! You need to come see me and we can raise a glass together!
Mel

Oh my….hard to celebrate that transition and not celebrate it at the same time. It’s just hard….and yes, breathing is required. He’s camped out on the beach for goodness sakes. ON.THE.BEACH.
Bit hard not to be envious. LOL But now you have a really good excuse for every weekend on the beach, yes?
Oh…it is soooooo hard…. *hugs*
- Katherine Murray
  
  Mel, oh my GOSH you are soooooo intuitive. I have told my son about a million times, “You know you are living MY dream, right?!” But in a good way, of course. How funny…. children can be so different from you, and yet I have this one kid whose heart is on the beach, just like mine is. Pretty amazing.
Nicky

Dammit. Now I need a Kleenex. And some ice cream.
- Katherine Murray
  
  ME TOO! Wanna meet along the border??? 🙂
Steph Josh

Very nice, thanks for sharing.

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meleahrebeccah

Awwwwwwwwww, Katherine!! I am DREADING that day my son leaves the nest.
aal alfi

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