Top Ten Bad Names for Children « Shoot Me Now

Shoot Me NowTop Ten Bad Names for Children

Top Ten Bad Names for Children
Published on Wednesday, January 28, 2009 by

My cousin is a nurse who lives in a normal midwestern town.  She sees children’s names often.  And her stories of those children’s names never cease to amaze me.  So here is my top ten list of the worst names people have named their children:

10. Babie Boi.  How can this child ever join the football team?

9. I.V.  This came from a mother having medications through an IV during the birth.  She liked the twist on the name.

8. Meconium.  These are the first stools an infant makes. Mom heard this word during the birthing process and thought it was pretty.

7. Ecstasy.  Yes, this little baby girl was called Ecsta

sy.  She was made during it, and will probably be looking for it her whole life.

6. Cherry.  Not so bad.  Until you look at the last name.  Pieland. Yup, Cherry Pieland.

5. Every month is taken.  January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December.  Not particularly terrible, but funny that she figured out each month was taken.  Also taken, China, Japan, America, Canada, Mexico, Alaska, Italy, France, Asia, Africa and more.

4. F*ckwanna – OK, are you ready?  Pronounce it “Foosh – Wanna.”

3. *sshole – Pronounce this “Ash-O-Lay.”

2. ABCDE – Pronounce this, “Ab-Seh-Dee”

1. And my favorite, just because it is so unbelievable. But

TRUE.  SH*THEAD.  Pronounce this “She-Haad.”  Now… picture this on a resume.

I am not one to judge.  But ABCDE?!

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  • Robbycolbert

    My wife is a Nurse at an elementary school in Virginia, Two days ago Wednesday March 9, 2011, a mother brought her child in to register after moving into the area. When the school secretary looked at the registration, she advised the mother that they could not register the child with a nickname. The mother advised the secretary that the name on the form was the child’s legal name and produced the child’s birth certificate to prove it. The child’s first name was Killer.

    • WOW… you win! KILLER?! I have since found a few more. Ahonesti, Crystal Champagne and King Romeo. But Killer is way up there above those!

    • Guest112

      What about the name La-a
      Pronounced: La dash a

      • OH MY GOSH! That is TERRIBLE!!!! It took me a minute.. I bet you are right, I can easily see people doing that… so funny!

  • guest

    You should also add those ‘cool’ (lame) spelling variants of names that I CAN’T stand, like “Ashleigh” or “Ja’mee” or people who use last names as first names (horrifying!) like “shelby” or “harper” and of course, honorable mentions go to girls with boy names, like “Jerry” or “eddie” and last, but not least, there is the WTF category, names which you have mentioned, but there are also subtle ones, like “Trig” and “Brooklyn”

  • Belletower

    There is a “Butcher” in my daughters class. Yes, a little boy named BUTCHER. it shortens to butch. How on earth does this happen? Parents seem normal but clearly they are not.

    • Ha ha ha that is a GOOD ONE! Butcher!!! The ironic part of me just seeing this comment (sorry!) is tomorrow night I am seeing Sweeney Todd… making the name “Butcher” all the more bizarre to me!

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