Today I got Botox! « Shoot Me Now

Shoot Me NowToday I got Botox!

Today I got Botox!
Published on Thursday, January 22, 2009 by

Botox for GastroparesisToday I got myself some Botox Injections… but not where you think! 

I have gastroparesis.  Simply put, my stomach does not work anymore, thus the name, “paralyzed stomach.”  Long story short – if you attempt to eat, the food sits in your stomach and begins to hurt.  You feel like you have morning sickness all day, and you begin to look at food as something painful.  So many people have not heard of this illness, and trust me, I pray you never will.  It changes your life forever.  Steak and salad are forever out of your life.  (OK that wasn’t so short.) 

So on with the story.  Some people find temporary relief by having Botox injected into the bottom of their stomachs.  It smoothes out the stomach, hopefully helping the food to actually take a little trip out of the old tummy.  (picture no nausea after years of constant – woo hoo!)  For some, it doesn’t do a thing. For others, it can work for 1 to 3 months.

What time do I have to get to the hospital?  6:30 a.m.  I was there before they even opened the doors.  Bleary eyed and nervous, I dutifully signed every sheet they handed to me and finally went to the back. 

The IV was put in my hand, which is good and bad.  You feel more mobile, but you are constantly aware of the needle.  Now here is the fun part.  The hospitals want you there so early nowadays that I had to sit for an hour and a half in a freezing room, IV poking constantly, NERVOUS, waiting to be taken back for a 15 minute procedure. 

At 8 a.m, my doc arrived and I was wheeled into the procedure room.  Now this is about all I remember.  He walked in and we talked about the Botox and the Upper GI.  Then a woman comes in the room and says she is looking for restraining straps.  What?!  For me?!!  I’ll never know because I was out during the procedure. 

Then, one of the nurses says to the other, “you sat in something!”  She reaches to the back of the woman’s pants to take it off, only to find it is a tag.  Yup, my nurse had put her pants on INSIDEOUT and gone to work.  YES!  A KINDRED SOUL!  That was a GREAT sign!  How cool is that, to have someone do something embarrassing and it not be ME!

But then I had a thought, and voiced it to both nurses.  “Wait a minute… you aren’t doing the procedure, are you?”  Not sure they got the joke.  Perhaps one should refrain from making sarcastic jokes (meant in good fun of course) around the people who are about to give them anesthesia and put needles down their throat!

I was hoping my GI doc would slip and get a bit of that Botox in my lip – but he said there was little chance of that.  Darn.  At least my stomach is lookin’ good now.  Here, I’ll open my mouth and say, “Ahhh” – do I look any younger!!?

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