He who has children will learn that glow sticks heated in the oven will explode and quickly burn the eyes of any child attempting this experiment.
He who has children will discover that a piece of spaghetti can indeed be passed through the nose and pulled out of the mouth.
He who has children will learn that even the front yard is an acceptable place to poop.
He who has children will soon have bb gun holes the windows which were apparently caused by unknown, drive by shooters.
He who has children will never leave the house without snacks and water.
He who has children will never again have matching socks.
He who has children will believe in Santa again.
He who has children will learn that head wounds bleed. A lot.
He who has children will learn that soccer shoes can smell amazingly similar to cat pee.
He who has children will lose their heart utterly and completely to these smelly, dirty and unpredictable creatures. Because these smelly, dirty and unpredictable creatures are THEIRS.
