Things Confucius Would Have Said If He Was A Mother « Shoot Me Now

Shoot Me NowThings Confucius Would Have Said If He Was A Mother

Things Confucius Would Have Said If He Was A Mother
Published on Sunday, February 24, 2013 by

glow sticks

He who has children will learn that glow sticks heated in the oven will explode and quickly burn the eyes of any child attempting this experiment.

He who has children will discover that a piece of spaghetti can indeed be passed through the nose and pulled out of the mouth.

He who has children will learn that even the front yard is an acceptable place to poop.

He who has children will soon have bb gun holes the windows which were apparently caused by unknown, drive by shooters.

bb gun holes

He who has children will never leave the house without snacks and water.

He who has children will never again have matching socks.

He who has children will believe in Santa again.

He who has children will learn that head wounds bleed.  A lot.

He who has children will learn that soccer shoes can smell amazingly similar to cat pee.

He who has children will lose their heart utterly and completely to these smelly, dirty and unpredictable creatures.  Because these smelly, dirty and unpredictable creatures are THEIRS.

 

bear in corolla

 

 

mom blog

  • Ron

    Katherine, what an AWESOME post!!!

    “He who has children will discover that a piece of spaghetti can indeed be passed through the nose and pulled out of the mouth.”

    Bwhahahahahahhahaha! That made me HOWL!

    LOVE your photos. Especially that last one! It’s BRILLIANT!

    X

  • Tami Von Zalez

    Great image ^.

    He who messes with the child will meet the mama grizzly.

    Ok, not so much Confucious and more Sarah Palin – but true nonetheless.

  • Words of wisdom that only a mother can appreciate!

  • He who has children will teach them how to gargle and spit Jello. I taught this to my kids and am now teaching my grandkids.

  • So well done and very original, Katherine. I love your take on the prompt.

  • A very nice piece, Katherine. The drive by thing… too funny.

  • What a beautiful post, Katherine. I could feel the love you have for your kids. 🙂

  • If Confucius had kids he would’ve never had time to become so clever and famous.

  • LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    “He who has children will discover that a piece of spaghetti can indeed be passed through the nose and pulled out of the mouth.” – That one cracked me up!

  • Exactly! 🙂

  • This was a great idea and oh so true!

  • MikeWJ

    I once blew half a bottle of Coca-Cola out of my nose via my mouth and lost my sense of taste for about a week. I think I about 10 years old at the time.

  • Hey Katherine! I’m glad Bear made it to see you safely! Indigo x

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