The Mayor Was In My Bathroom « Shoot Me Now

Shoot Me NowThe Mayor Was In My Bathroom

The Mayor Was In My Bathroom
Published on Sunday, February 10, 2013 by

My first thought for the Day 10 Writing Challenge phrase “the Mayor” involved Munchkins and things I just cannot talk about.  Fortunately, a true story from my past came to mind just in the nick of time.

mayor of munchkinland

I must have been about four years old.  We lived in a small town in Texas, where crime was low and there wasn’t much for first responders to do.

While my mother vacuumed, I remember playing with my own toy vacuum.  Today my son would say, “See?  Cleaning comes naturally to a woman.  Now go back to the kitchen.”

woman cooking

I had a stuffed toy monkey next to me.  I pulled the metal handle off the toy vacuum and popped it on to my finger.  This enabled me to hold up a pole for my monkey to climb.  Soon tiring of this game, I remember trying to take my finger out of the metal tube.  They key word here is “trying.”

The metal tube was crimped a bit, just enough to keep my finger securely in its grip.  Had I pulled the metal off, my skin would have come along with it.  “Mooooommmyyyyyyyy?”

From there it is a blur.  Being four at the time, I can only remember my sense of panic coupled with a few pictures in my mind of what immediately unfolded.

My mother said we had two neighbors.  One was nice while the other was strange.  The strange one called the fire department without asking my mother’s permission.

It was an especially slow day, and apparently, the city’s officials wanted something to do.  My mother looked out to see a fire truck pull up to the house.  And an ambulance.  And then the water works truck.

Soon the house was filled with fire fighters, EMT’s and yes… out of the water works truck came THE MAYOR.

My small eyes locked on the giant metal loppers a firefighter was carrying.  I KNEW they were going to cut off my finger.

The only thing I remember about the “Pipe Removal” was standing in the bathroom and looking up in to the mirror.  Behind me were about six firefighters and the Mayor, all looking down at the person in charge of the extraction.

Fortunately, they did not cut off my finger.  Even better, I still have the monkey.

And that was the day the mayor was in my bathroom.

mom blog

  • I love it! The mayor, a pipe and a monkey in your bathroom. (I bet fake Barbie wan’t far behind.) Way to go, Katherine!

  • The mayor doubled as your waterworks guy? Gives new meaning to the phrase “there was a leak coming from city hall”.

    • MalisaHargrove

      You are so clever, Dufus.

  • Ron

    “And that was the day the mayor was in my bathroom.”

    Bwhahahahahahahahahaha! Kathine, this story was stellar!!!!

    OMG…you had me CRACKING UP through the whole thing!!

    And btw, the flying monkeys usually scared most people in The Wizard Of Oz, but for me, it was always the mayor and the lollypop guild. SCA-RY!

  • That’s the stories dreams are made of!

  • Oh my god, Katherine, that’s hilarious!

  • Great story! Reminds me of two movie scenes – “there’s something about Mary” and “The Christmas Story.”

  • This little story rocks. I can actually see it all happening! Love it!

  • MalisaHargrove

    I love love love this story! It is so genuinely authentic small Texas town response. And now I am curious beyond belief to discover the name of this town. Spill it, Katherine!

  • This is freakin’ hysterical!! I love this story, Katherine!

  • How many people can lay claim to having the mayor in their bathroom…well..unless the Mayor is a family member. What a funny little story. I suspect at the time it happened it wasn’t funny or cute at all.

  • This is great, but I could tell from the title it would be hysterical. What an interesting place where the mayor would come on on a call. I surely can’t imagine that would have happened here.

  • Hey Katherine! I am relieved that your monkey is with you and well. Think you;re stupid? I put a crocodile clip on my tongue once, before hopping about screaming. I’m just saying. Indigo x

  • mikewjattoomanymornings

    This story is so bizarre it’s implausible. And yet it’s true. I can’t help but wonder how the event shaped you as a person, either.

    • MalisaHargrove

      This story isn’t bizarre. It’s pure small town Texas. It’s so genuine.

  • KZ

    They really went to town on the first responder stuff. I’m kind of reminded of that song, “Alice’s Restaurant”, and the way all of those police officers went way overboard with the crime scene investigation.

  • Cadeaux

    You lived in a strange, surreal world, didn’t you?

    (Sorry…just catching up reading all the blogs and commenting. Better late than never I guess.)

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