The Absolutely WORST Post You Will Ever Read!

Published on Monday, April 6, 2009 by Katherine

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I remember a Saturday Night Live skit in which a man dies and goes to heaven.  St. Peter lets him ask three questions.  One of them was, “What is the grossest thing I ever ate.”  St. Peter replied, “Trust me, you can’t handle the answer to that question.”

I will not need to ask that question.  I already know the answer.

This is going to be the most disgusting and embarrassing post ever read in this blog.  At least I pray this is the most disgusting and embarrassing post you’ll ever see here. 

There are no words to describe what I did today.  How could I have been so stupid. 

When I came home, my daughter met me at the door with a glass of freshly squeezed lemonade.  I took a sip of this amazing concoction.  Heaven.  Then in the frenzy that always follows walking in the door, I put the glass down. 

Later I began to pick up random things in the house that didn’t belong.  Sock.  Trash.  Oh look, there is the lemonade!  I picked up the glass and noticed it looked less like lemonade than it should. 

So what do I, Mrs. Einstein herself do?  I stick my finger in it and taste it.  Tastes a bit like water.  Old water.  Better toss that. 

A few minutes later it hit me.  Are you ready?  The cup had been next to the couch.  The couch where my son was planted the entire day with a stuffy nose and fever.  My head spun as I remembered giving him a cup of water to “spit” in earlier this morning. 

I can hardly write this as my mind races at the reality of what occurred tonight.  My son was spitting phlegm into a cup of water all day.  I picked up the cup, stuck my finger in it and put that very finger in my mouth for a taste. 

I think I am going to have a glass of wine, then go to bed and put my head under my pillow.  No, actually… I am going to gargle with some gasoline first. 

Could it get any worse?