Ten Things I Never Thought Would Come Out Of My Mouth « Shoot Me Now

Shoot Me NowTen Things I Never Thought Would Come Out Of My Mouth

Ten Things I Never Thought Would Come Out Of My Mouth
Published on Monday, June 29, 2009 by

When you have children, everything changes.  Including the way you speak.  Just before church this weekend I found myself saying, “Yes, I know you don’t want to go to church, but Jesus didn’t want to go on the cross either, did he!”

There are some mighty strange things that have come out of my mouth since I’ve had children.  Here are a choice few – I have a private rated R list that I just couldn’t bring myself to publish – but you get the rated PG-13!

10.  Don’t make me stop this car!

9. Yes, you can have ice cream for breakfast.

8. Papa’s body broke today and now he is in heaven.

7.  I know you don’t believe me, but I promise… women do not go pee-pee out of their bottoms.

6.  There is NO dog with penny eyes in the house.

5. Let’s go grocery shopping to hunt for some rats!

4. 911? He can’t catch a breath!

3. Fess up… which one of you shaved your brother’s leg last night!

2. How did this clam get in the glove box?

1. OK, who peed in the cat box?

What strange things have come out of YOUR mouth since you have had kids?  (and I mean words… we could go into a WHOLE other list if we weren’t talking WORDS!)

mom blog

  • Jackie

    Who wrote, “everyone poops” on your baby sister!!

  • T

    No Sean, Aunt Alice is NOT pregnant! (said in front of Aunt Alice who was in her 70’s with a big belly)

  • Bizz

    A personal low here:  To the kid, “Stop picking the dog’s nose!”  To the dog, “Stop letting him pick your nose!”

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