I’ve TRIED to like the marrow, but it is just so… “bone marrow-ee….”  <shudder>  But I digress.

After Mass on Christmas Eve we went to my mothers for dinner.  Beef soup the night before Christmas – YUM.

Looking across the table this year, my oldest said, “Grandma, what IS that on your bone?!”  All eyes whipped around to the animal part in question and gasped.  What IS that?!

We all had our ideas.  Jesus?  After all, it WAS Christmas Eve.  But my goodness, it would be a very angry Jesus indeed!  I wouldn’t be surprised, looking at what Christmas has become these days!  Another thought it might be Bob Dylan smoking a cigar.  Dora the Explorer was a possibility as well.

Here is my excellent rendition of Dora the Explorer on a beef bone, just to demonstrate what someone saw:

The bone still haunts me to this day.  What would others have seen on this bone?  Could I have sold it for a million bucks on Ebay?

So please, tell me what you think.  What do YOU see on the mysterious Christmas Eve beef bone?

Case in fact:  Larry and Kyle.  I’ve talked about these guys before.  They are Abbott and Costello reincarnated.

Larry: “Who’s on first,”

Kyle: “Yes.”

Larry: “I mean the fellow’s name.”

Kyle: “Who.”

Lately, their end of the day routine is to play a quick round of Cubicle Wall Ball.  Kyle throws the ball to the top corner of his cubie, where it bounces off the wall and shoots towards Larry.  Larry catches the ball and throws it against the wall to Kyle’s cubie.

The objective of the game is to catch the ball and hope your opponent drops it when it is your turn to throw.  If your opponent drops the ball, you get a point.  Five points and you win the game.

Today Kyle wanted to win.  Bad.  The game was close.  Hearts were pounding.  Palms were sweating.  Larry squints.  He carefully aims.  He pulls back and shoots!  Swish!  Bounce!  Woosh!

It flies towards Kyle!  Kyle is NOT going to miss!  It shoots past his head!  And in a split second of desperation and miscalculation….

Yes, today is the big day.  First day of school.  One in tenth, one in eighth and one in second.  We have a graduation this school year as well as a first Penance and (gulp) First Communion.  It will be a year of highs and lows, from cheers to forgotten lunches and never-ending viruses.  Tears will be included, mostly from me.  But we will prevail.

Walking to the first grade line with my daughter today reminded me of many previous first days of school.  The new book bags, squeaky clean plaid uniforms and the worried email from the teacher.  Yes, that was a first day event that will never be forgotten.  “The year that Michael freaked out the teacher on the first day of school.”

Michael was entering fourth grade that fateful year. It was the first day of school, and I assumed everything was running smoothly.  That is, until I received a very concerned email from his sweet and on the ball new teacher.  The class had been instructed to draw a self portrait.  Michael’s was D-I-S-T-U-R-B-I-N-G.  So much so that the teacher felt she needed to call me.

Is Michael OK?  How does he feel about himself?  Is everything alright at home?

“Yes, good and yes,” I replied.  What was the portrait?  Michael had drawn himself with a pitchfork in one hand, a gun in the other and a knife through his head.  The stunning portrait also portrayed a good amount of blood.  Yup, that’s my boy.  First day of fourth grade in a religious school, and he throws the teacher off just a tiny bit.  “Always keep ‘em guessing,” my son says.  This child is going to BE somebody someday, have no doubt.

I don’t have the original handy.  It is a keeper and has been stored in a VERY safe place.  But I do have a reproduction created by my older brother (also named Michael) upon hearing my son’s story.  It is his own self portrait, penned in the style of Michael’s – and it is NOT very far off from the original.  Enjoy!

And just so you know, there is a much prettier side to her, although I think this one is quite nice!

Today is going to be a GOOD DAY.  After all, I saw flying toilets!