Kids are Stupid « Shoot Me Now

Shoot Me NowKids are Stupid

Kids are Stupid
Published on Wednesday, July 23, 2014 by

dumb kid

No, seriously. Kids can be really stupid. That includes your kids, my kids, your nieces, nephews or any shorties you happen to know. And it also includes you and me at some point in our lives. Thank goodness we are all here to tell about it.

I am referring to that one time when a child loses his or her brain and does something that is not only stupid but amazingly dangerous. We’ve all got one, don’t we?

When I think back to my own kids, a few moments stand out on the danger meter. Like when my middle child thought it would be cool to put a large glow stick in the microwave. When it blew up he took it out and then proceeded to wipe his eyes. He almost burned his eye out with the heated chemical. He is the same kid who took a dare and hot glued a checker piece to his hand. He still has the scar.

Now picture my oldest and his friend spraying some Axe on to the street one evening. Then imagine them placing the Axe can in the middle of the puddle and lighting the puddle on fire. As soon as the fire was lit they booked behind a car and shot a BB in to the can that was sitting on a pool of fire. The Axe can became a flaming rocket, shooting down the street. The explosion sent my firefighter neighbor running out of his house. The kids were gone before he made it to the street.

exploding axe

Then there was the time when both boys and the neighborhood crew left a boulder from my garden in the road at night. They had been skateboarding off of it and forgot to move it when they were done. Out of the blue, a car comes flying down the road at about 50 mph in a 25 mph neighborhood. They hit the boulder dead on.

Two guys got out of the car and confronted the boys. “What did we hit!?” It was very apparent both of the guys were beyond drunk. My son replied, “Some kids left a boulder in the street. I have no idea why!”

Being drunk, the guys couldn’t call the police. Their fender was totaled and one of the tires was bent out of shape. The car remained at the side of the road for two days. My oldest told me he was sure they would come back, so he watched through the front window in fear for three nights in a row.

As for myself, I remember going to a strange man’s house when I was in third grade in Newport, Rhode Island. My best friends knew who he was and said he gave kids candy. Sure enough, we went in to his house and got some free candy. Nothing whatsoever happened… but it could have.

My favorite story comes from a friend of mine. When left alone with a babysitter she decided to open one of her father’s bullets and pour some of the gunpowder on to her deck to light on fire.


Thinking that was pretty cool, she made a slightly bigger pile and lit it.


That was even cooler! So she dumped out a full bullet’s worth of powder.


The babysitter was clueless, but her Mom later noticed my friend had no eyebrows or eyelashes. I’m not sure how she explained that one.

picture of bullet

So tell me… what did you do that was amazingly stupid when you were a kid? Or have your own kids or young family members pulled something you just couldn’t believe? Because face it… kids are stupid.  And I have a melted Axe can to prove it.

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