Guaranteed to Bring Down a Teenage Boy in Seconds Flat

Published on Sunday, March 14, 2010 by Katherine

If you follow me on Twitter, you know that the last seven days of my life have been a barforama blowout. Do all three kids do it at once? No, that would get everything out of the way too quickly. My kids chose to spread out the joy for seven glorious days. If you don’t hear from me tomorrow, you know where I’ll be.

Needless to say, things have been very stressful. Masks and gloves on and off, buckets cleaned, children calling from room to room. Sit, then “Mooommmm!” Clean, scrub, sit. Then “Moooommmm” from another room. Please let this END!

This morning, I actually had three kids up and speaking plain English. Nothing was exiting their mouths but words. But I was still exhausted, stressed and over it all. And that is when the commercial came on.

I’m sorry. The inappropriate overtones of this post are both offensive and just plain wrong. But I have teenage boys. And their minds begin in the gutter, going downhill from there.

So there I am, sitting innocently on the bed watching cartoons with my recovering daughter. My 14 year old son is in the doorway, checking out what we are up to. Queue THE COMMERCIAL. In all of two seconds, I am laughing outloud. And my middle son is screaming through his own laughter, “DAVID! Get in here NOW! HURRY!” “DAAVVIIIIDDDDD!”

David runs in, looks at the commercial and literally falls to the floor. I mean, he really FALLS TO THE FLOOR. His face turns red, tears begin to roll down his cheeks and snorting noises fill the room.

I want a Shake Weight. I want it BAD. This product falls under the category of “Health Product or Sex Toy.” Guaranteed to bring down a teenage boy in seconds flat.