He GOT Me! « Shoot Me Now

Shoot Me NowHe GOT Me!

He GOT Me!
Published on Tuesday, July 24, 2012 by

A few text messages from my neighbor.  They were something like this….

“We are at a Batman Trilogy.  We won’t be home until 3 a.m.  Are the dogs barking?”

“Nope, dogs are not barking. Well, wait.  Dogs are barking.”

“Can you put them in the house?”


I grabbed my daughter and out we went in the dark, dark night.  My daughter was a little nervous.  After all, you never know when zombies might be hanging in your neighbor’s back yard.

As we opened the gate, the dogs barked a happy greeting.  Yet… they did NOT come running to see us.  That is VERY unusual.

We stood for a minute listening.  From a dark area of the yard, we heard the two dogs playing.  My daughter and I turned slowly towards each other, eyes wide.  I believe one of us said, “This can NOT be good.”

We hurried to open the door and turn on the light.  BUT THE LIGHT DIDN’T REACH THE DOG DANGER ZONE!  AHHHHHHHH!!!!!

With cell phone in hand, I tiptoed through the yard, not sure what I would find.  My shadow followed, mumbling a word or two about zombies with every step.

And then I found them.  I found whom?  Two of the happiest dogs you have ever seen in your life.  After all, what dog doesn’t love a new toy!?

opossum playing dead





I took pictures while my daughter kept the dogs from dragging their toy further through the yard.  Then I sent them to my movie-going neighbors, with not only a reassurance that the dogs were not bitten, but with the exclamation, “I am NOT going to clean this up!”

We left the poor kitteh where he stood and got the dogs inside.

After returning to the house I immediately texted my bestest friend the pictures.  The response?  “I bet it was playing possum!”


Grabbing the flashlight, my daughter and I snuck to the fence, shined the light at the offending area and sure enough, the little bastard was GONE.

He was playing POSSUM!

Astounded I was.  That opossum was hard as a ROCK… dead for at least a DAY in my book.  His mouth was wide open with curled tongue hanging out.  Covered in dog spit, he had been a dead dog toy for hours.

I now have a new respect for opossums.  In my book, they are no longer toothy monster kitty cats roaming the backyard at night.  For they are now and will always be….  <turn on your echo> Backyard Masters of Survival! <end echo>

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