And It All Happened During Shark Week « Shoot Me Now

Shoot Me NowAnd It All Happened During Shark Week

And It All Happened During Shark Week
Published on Thursday, August 15, 2013 by

Was it shark week that fashioned the series of events leading up to the Corolla Baby Toss last weekend?  Or was it the meteor shower.  Or a perhaps a combination of both?

This past weekend was far from boring to say the least.

As you have heard me whine for about three months, winds and upwelling have caused Outer Banks waters to remain between 58 and 64 degrees.  There has not been a single day where we could actually get in the water and SWIM.

That is… until this weekend.

Sunday morning I plopped myself down in a beach chair, fishing rod in hand.  My son began to surf while a few people began to wander in to the water.  There was something different, though.  What was it?  Why did I feel things were off?  And then I realized.  ARMS DOWN.

Indeed, the minute you reach the top of the stairs heading towards the beach you can tell what the water temperature is.  Arms up?  So cold people won’t even put their arms in.  This has been an arms up summer.  But arms down?  OH SWEET JESUS.  Everyone had his or her arms DOWN.

I gingerly placed my foot in the water and took a step.  And then another. Then I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and dove in to the crystal clear water.

It only took a moment to feel a complete sense of home rush through my body.  Wholly submerged, my mermaid’s tail quickly unfolded after a long winter and cold summer stretch.  I opened my eyes in the briny sea, felt the waves crash over me and thought, “I am finally home.”

For the rest of the day my mother, daughter and I frolicked in the warm beautiful ocean water.  Every twenty minutes one of us would exclaim, “I can’t believe we are in the OCEAN!”

Little did we know that just a few minutes up from us, surfers watched a bull shark swim under their boards, following a group of cow nose rays.

Little did we know that something even more dangerous was lurking near, swiftly sweeping towards us in the ever-increasing current.

Cue the Jaws song.

Dun dun.  Dun dun.  Dun dun dun dun Dun dun dun dun.

Mom and I were waist deep in the trough when I saw it.  What is that?  Could it be?  AHHHHHHHH!  For there, coming straight at me was a full grouping of poop!

POOP?!  REALLY?!?!  I pretend people don’t pee in the ocean… but number two?  WHO DOES THAT!

I dodged the cluster while screaming to my mother, “LOOK OUT LOOK OUT LOOK OUT!  IT’S POOP!”

In a rush of fright, she flicked her hand up, causing water to immediately splash in her mouth.  I’m not quite sure if the final floating log actually hit her, but it sure was a near miss either way.

Our frolicking came to a quick end.

poop in ocean

The baby toss, you ask?

I noticed my mother squinting at a circle of people far out on the sandbar.  In order to reach the sandbar, one must wade through chest high water with waves breaking overhead.  The sandbar leaves you in waist high water, but a few steps further finds the water instantly deep.

“Is that a doll?  A ball?  What is that?”

Yes, you’ve guessed it.  Picture a baby young enough that she cannot hold her head completely still.  Now picture a circle of people tossing a ball up and across the circle.  Back and forth, up and over.  Now change the ball to a baby with a wobbly head.  On a sandbar.  Just feet from a huge drop-off.

These people were flinging a baby hard and high over the deep ocean’s water.  With no life vest in sight.  Even better?  Mama carried baby out of the water by one arm once the Corolla Baby Toss was complete.

baby life vest

It Takes All Kinds.

I think I saw the bull shark watching this activity with a fork and knife in hand.  I’m just sayin.  And people?  If I had my camera handy, there would be an amazingly viral YouTube video with my name on it right now.  With emails and links sent to every social services office in North Carolina.

Meteor showers.  Rogue poop.  Bull Shark.  Corolla Baby Toss.  Shark week is over, right?!

 

mom blog

  • Are you sure it wasn’t a Tootsie Roll?

    I have to say. I loved every bit of this post, including the title. Great title! Even your illustrated pictures were hilarious. Funny stuff, except of course for the idiot people tossing a baby. I don’t understand why some people procreate. It should be it crime for idiots.

    • Lauren…. I hate to be so graphic… but… it wasn’t a tootsie roll. Unless the tootsie roll had corn the night before.

      AHHHHHH!!!!!!

  • Love your pictures with the screaming people and incoming poop. How gross…I may never get into the water again but then as I live in the middle of the country, I don’t get into the ocean all that often anyway.

    WTH is wrong with people???? I would of loved to see these idiots on You Tube.

    • Yes, Cheryl… if I had had my camera… oh my GOSH… it was INSANE… I mean it was so bad it would have been on Good Morning America type thing!

  • Ron

    Katherine, faaaaaaaaabulous post!

    You are so clever with the illustrated photos. OMG…I was laughing my tush off, especially the POOP one!!

    Bwhahahahahahahahaha!

    And about the baby toss? UNbelieveable!?! What the hell is wrong with some people?!? Yeah, I wish you had had your camera handy because the video definitely gone viral.

    “It only took a moment to feel a complete sense of home rush through my body. Wholly submerged, my mermaid’s tail quickly unfolded after a long winter and cold summer stretch. I opened my eyes in the briny sea, felt the waves crash over me and thought, “I am finally home.””

    Beautifully expressed, my friend. You are truly a wonderful writer. And I sincerely mean that.

    Have a terrific weekend!

    X

    • Ron, I actually thought of you while I was drawing… I am so bad at it and you always appreciate it! 🙂 All my drawings are officially dedicated to you!

  • As a young Marine stationed at Cherry Point N. C. I got to know the N.C. beaches well. I loved it there. Sometimes I would fish all night on the piers at Atlantic beach just to get away from the USMC for a while.

    I saw Dolphins and giant Turtles and Sharks and Rays but never Poop. Ah those were the days.

    • I would LOVE to hear more stories… especially fishing ones. I love fishing… bring my rod down as much as I can. This year fishing has been SLOW. Cold water for so long due to upwelling – the drum are hardly around – only a few mullet, spot and croaker. Last year we had so many drum!

  • Oh my god, now I don’t know if I should be more freaked out about the sharks, the baby toss, or the poop.. No, it’s the poop. Definitely the poop.

    • So Ziva, I am thinking on your next tour you won’t be visiting me in Corolla? 🙂 I promise I won’t make you swim in poop filled waters… I promise!

      • I’m kinda hoping the next tour will be all my blogging buddies visiting me in Finland instead of me traveling the States.. 😉 Although, I can’t promise anyone poop-free waters here, either. People do crazy stuff this far up north.

  • I agree with Lauren, some people just shouldn’t have children. I’ve never had kids but I can’t imagine someone treating a baby like that. I was waiting to hear that it was just a lifelike doll, but apparently not.

    I have seen schools of fish, but poop…eeewww! Just glad you didn’t have a run-in with the shark.

    • Linda, I was SHOCKED. Shaken baby syndrome… this baby was YOUNG! So even if they didn’t drop the child and lose it, the baby can be severely damaged. Sometimes people go on vacation and leave their minds behind.

  • This whole post is disturbing. Baby and poop are too much for me. Trauma…

Advertisements
Subscribe
Subscribe to our RSS feed and get site updates delivered immediately.
Let’s Network!
Categories
Sites I Like