Pinch Me « Shoot Me Now

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Pinch Me
Published on Wednesday, November 3, 2010 by

I’ve held off on this post for a few months.  One of those, “I can’t believe this is happening so I just can’t write about it yet” things.  But the flights are booked, the room is paid and (drum roll please!) I AM GOING TO LAS VEGAS!!!  MONDAY!


elvis vegas

And oh the guilt the guilt the guilt.  I am not allowed to go away from my children.  I am not allowed to have fun on my own.  I am a bad mom if I do this!  Right?

I have never been away from the kids.  My daughter has never had a day she hasn’t seen my face in person.  EVER.  She thinks she is not going to survive this.  Technically she will see me Monday, will not see me Tuesday and Wednesday but will pick me up from the airport on Thursday.  To this she whimpers, “Yes, that is two days, but it is also THREE NIGHTS!”  Honestly, I don’t know how I will be able to stand being away from her too.  Let’s just not go there.

Says Grandma?  “She is too attached to you.  This will be GOOD FOR HER.”  Yes Ma’am.

So why a trip across the country?  PUBCON!  How am I paying?  I’m NOT!

I am joining a small team of women on a new webventure.  The (generous, magnificent and amazing) leader is paying for our flights, our tickets, and our hotel.  We will be attending the Pubcon conferences on Tuesday and Wednesday in the hopes we can glean some valuable information on “Search, Social Media, Internet Marketing and Website Operation.”

I will be with two of my favorite people EVER and we will have NO CHILDREN there.  Our Mommy Strings will be pulled tight, but we can talk each other down.  After all, our nebulizer experience is vast.  And frankly, I can make a mean adult beverage if I’m put on the spot.

Did I mention the hotel?  No?  Can you say DEATH RAY HOTEL?!   Just how cool is THAT?!  My middle son wants me to bring an army man along to melt in the hotel’s deadly rays.  Anyone have a spare?

As hard as it will be to spend time away from the kids AND as guilty as I feel, can I mention the following about our suite?

  • Spa-like bathroom sanctuary
  • State-of-the-art, customizable one-touch in-room technology
  • Exclusive porte-cochère entry accessed via limousine only (What the heck is Porte Cochère!)
  • Custom ARIA mattress with triple-sheeted, 100% Egyptian cotton linens
  • Private hotel and casino check-in experience
  • Welcome stone foyer
  • Plush robes and slippers
  • Stone shower with bench and steam shower
  • Separate air bath whirlpool tub
  • Rooms recognize guests’ first time in the room and “greet” them as they enter; light fills the room, curtains part to show the view, TV turns on to display list of automated controls for guests to personalize

Pinch me.

Now here I am in old tennis shoes and faded cheap work clothes that swim on me nowadays.  Can you picture the face of the “personalized concierge” at the “porte-cochère” when he gets a load of me?  I’m thinking a Walmart trip is long overdue.  I’ve suddenly become the mom in The Middle.  And honestly, I’m OK with that!  (in a whisper to my chest: With thaaattttt.)

I’m not a gambler, so you won’t be seeing me at any tables (and don’t you need money to be able to gamble with it?).  I might put a few coins in the slot machine for fun.  But THE thing I WILL do?  No-Matter-What?!  I am going to visit my very first LIVE IN PERSON Lush Store.  Perhaps I can use a new Lush soap or shampoo bar in the steam shower later that night.

Kids?  What kids?

Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.  Unless you own a blog.

me in vegas

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