Shoot Me Now

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  • Asleep in the Bleachers, Doritos Style! Asleep in the Bleachers, Doritos St... Published on Monday, December 3, 2007 by
    These pictures were taken of my son with my cell phone during a school basketball game.  He had been at a scout campout the previous night, with only one hour of sleep before I picked him up the following day.  Although I strongly suggested it, he didn't take a nap before the day'...
  • Revenge Against Your Mean Big Brother! Revenge Against Your Mean Big Broth... Published on Thursday, November 29, 2007 by
    This is more funny than embarrassing, but certainly worth the post!  When I was in high school, my best friend had a teenage brother who would pick on her quite often.  One day, her mother was making liver pate for a party she was attending that evening.  The liver pate was placed in...
  • Is Anybody In There? Is Anybody In There? Published on Sunday, November 25, 2007 by
    Over Thanksgiving, we went to my mother's house with my teenage son's friend in tow.  As I was packing today, I went to clean the bathroom and found the door locked.  I knocked and no one answered, so I used an ice pick to jimmy the door open to clean it. Shortly after, my son ...
  • How Do You Burble A Pea? How Do You Burble A Pea? Published on Thursday, November 22, 2007 by
    Happy Embarrassing Thanksgiving!  Today at the Thanksgiving dinner table, I remembered my father teaching us to "burble peas" when we were children.  I mentioned it, and was questioned about it by one of our guests.  "How do you do that?"  So in front of everyone (all eating, by th...
  • Is That A….. Is That A….. Published on Wednesday, November 21, 2007 by
    Predictably, I have a new one every day!  I went to 7-11 to get a cup of amazing 7-11 coffee, and a male co-worker came along to get something as well.  As I was parking, he looked at my dash and said, "Is that a FINGERNAIL on your dash?!" Sure enough, one of my boys had left a na...
  • Doin’ the Bump! Doin’ the Bump! Published on Monday, November 19, 2007 by
    A memory burned in to my brain.  Seventh grade.  My first dance, held in the cafeteria.  Low lights, disco ball, great music.  Then a boy actually asked me to dance!  Do you remember the song, "The Bump?"  Face it, it was great at the time.... so off we go, weaving through the cro...
  • Five Guys Burgers and Fries Five Guys Burgers and Fries Published on Sunday, November 18, 2007 by
    Not the worst, but just more proof that my life revolves around embarrassment.  This one wasn't even my fault! Last night we were waiting for our food at Five Guys Burgers and Fries.  They called out, "24!" and mom said, "That's it!  That's our order!  Michael, help your mother get ...
  • Stale Peeps! Stale Peeps! Published on Sunday, November 18, 2007 by
    Have you ever enjoyed a candy that was better slightly stale?  That is just how my best friend enjoyed her Peeps.  You know, those insanely sweet yellow marshmallow chicks you get at Easter?  Each year she would slash the top of the package and place her Peeps in a place that would guar...
  • My Poor Son My Poor Son Published on Saturday, November 17, 2007 by
    My son goes to a school that requires uniforms.  On the day he had physical education, he wore his green sweats with shorts underneath.  Later that day I was emptying out his backpack and pulled out his sweats for the wash.  As I took out his sweatpants, a pair of my good underwear fel...
  • Skirt Mishap Skirt Mishap Published on Saturday, November 17, 2007 by
    Driving from work to the store, I began to feel the discomfort of a too large lunch and too tight skirt.  I unbuttoned my skirt for a little relief in the car.  You guessed it.  I got to the store, got out of my car and my skirt fell down to my ankles. This was finally topped when I ...
  • Mattress Mishap Mattress Mishap Published on Friday, November 16, 2007 by
    OK, so I come by my embarrassing moments honestly.  My mother was recently in a mattress store shopping for a good mattress for the spare bedroom.  As anyone should, she was testing the few she really liked by lying down on them to see which was more comfortable.   Soon, a salesma...
  • Bread and the Bees Bread and the Bees Published on Thursday, November 15, 2007 by
    When I was pregnant with my second child, I was sure to tell my first the truth about the birds and the bees.  When he asked how the baby would come out, I told him.  This came to haunt me a few months later.  We were in the Bread Company store in line, ready to order.  My friendly fir...
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