Them Italians Know Us Americans Good! « Shoot Me Now

Shoot Me NowThem Italians Know Us Americans Good!

Them Italians Know Us Americans Good!
Published on Tuesday, March 9, 2010 by

This weekend my mother and I took my daughter shopping for a First Communion dress.  Because we never EVER go shopping, my mother suggested we start with a special lunch, her treat.

I rattled off a few local restaurants, throwing out Olive Garden in the mix.  To my surprise, my daughter piped in that Olive Garden sounded like a great place to try.

Now, I’m not one to frequent chain restaurants.  If given the choice, my happy self will be planted in a seat at Pho ’79 or eating a plate of Kyushu sushi. Mmmmm-nom-nom-nom.  SOO-SHEEEE!

It was quite the adventure, this Olive Garden restaurant trip.  For starters, the chairs have wheels. Oh SWEET!  Rolling rolling rolling!  My daughter finally made me stop.

As we waited for our menus, the excitement continued.   Just a few tables away, I saw a waiter lift a tray that must have contained at least 60 glasses, all stacked on top of each other.

Count… one, two… KU-RASH!  If ONLY I had my Flip running – it was true America’s Home Video fodder.  Within seconds the 60 glasses became a pool of broken shards spread across the carpeted floor.  Good guess but no, it wasn’t me carrying the tray.  I WISH!

Finally, the menus arrived.  What to pick…. Cheese, sauce, more cheese… and S-A-U-C-E.   Some examples?

  • Artichoke and Spinach Dip?  1,099 calories and 94 grams of fat.
  • Stuffed Chicken Marsala with Garlic Mashed Potatoes?  1,215 calories and 86 grams of fat.
  • One breadstick?  280 calories.
  • And finally, the Olive Garden Tour of Italy? You are looking at 3,830 magnificent milligrams of sodium, 1,450 calories and 33 fat grams. DEE-LISH.

How was lunch?  It was actually pretty darn good.  But the waiter NEVER should have left the parmesan grinder on the table.  Hmmm, needs a bit more parmesan.  Grind Grind (hee hee, fun!) Grind…  Nom Nom Nom… Oh needs more.  Grind Grind….  Elizabeth, you want to play with the cheese grinder?  Sure!  I could use a bit more… Cheesy Grindy Fun Goodness.

And of course – BATHROOM.  NOW.

To my great amazement and surprise, I see they planned well when designing the bathroom.  For there, right next to the diaper changer was a Sharps container.  Now you can eat your Tour of Italy with confidence.  For just a few steps away is a diabetic’s paradise.  A sharps container for your blood-sugar-loving-convenience.  Excellent.  Welcome to America.

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  • A Sharps container? wow. Really a diabetic paradise, huh?! Thank you for sharing this fun post.

  • I read your post . I remember my mom. my mom passing away in child hood and my dad did not marriage again, you are lucky you spend a day with your mom.

  • Sounds like you had a great day. I haven’t been to the Olive Garden in quite a while. It is impossible to get into it. All those calories explain why.

  • Jen

    Thanks for posting the calorie counts, now I don’t think I can ever eat there again. Sharps container right next to the diaper station. That’s great.

  • Glad you let us know just how bad the food is at Olive Garden. I had an inkling because of like you said, the cheese and the cheese and the cheese and all the sauces which also has the cheese in it. But it sure does taste good. That post as usual put a smile on my face. Have a super day and find another resturant.

  • OMG. I haven’t been to the Olive Garden in a long time and after seeing a sharps container next to a diaper station? I’m pretty sure I don’t want to! Oh, and, I am the same way as you with the grated cheese. MMMMMMMMMMMM

  • Jay

    I saw a sharps container in one of those run-down, grubby, off-the-beaten-track gas station bathrooms on our recent trip to the US. I’m afraid I didn’t immediately think ‘diabetes’. LOL!

    Actually I love Olive Garden. It’s one of the few places I can eat Italian restaurant pasta, because some menu items don’t have egg in them, and it’s fairly tasty and … well, I like it. Not as good as the more upmarket places, of course not, but for what it is, it’s OK!

    I’m with you on the parmesan grinder. Although in this house we tend to have Grana Padano instead.

  • I have been using Acai Opitmum supplement and it has worked fantastic for me along with diet and exercise. Are you using a weight loss supplement too?

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