My Brain Is A Scary Thing – But What DID That Dog Eat?

Published on Monday, February 22, 2010 by Katherine

Self talk. We all do it. Think about it – no pun intended. Our minds are constantly chattering. Picture yourself driving alone or trying to fall asleep. Your brain is always noting things, thinking about things, questioning things – you are constantly talking to yourself.

Wait. I am assuming an awful lot. Maybe it’s just me. Probably. Yup, most likely. OK, so I will rephrase that. I hear my brain chatter all the time. You know, just making note of things. “Oh, that is so pretty.” “I’m really tired.” “If I repainted the living room, what color would I use?”

Driving home today, I began to think about, well, things I had thought about this weekend. And then I imagined saying these things out loud to a stranger who might not know the context in which they were thought. Surely I would be locked up.

So here are a few things that ran through my mind this weekend.

Apollo is sexy, but what’s with that ear?
Whoa, there are little creatures swimming in there.
Do lesbian couples HAVE to have a “who is the man and who is the woman” thing, or is that just something from TV?
They have a row of TIKI GUYS on their lawn!
Its 4:00 and I haven’t eaten anything today. Chalk one up for gastroparesis.
Holy CRAP, this is a FREAKING MASION!
Why do I have to struggle so much to simply buy groceries. I’m smart and I know how to make websites, so there has GOT to be a way to keep me from barely keeping my head above water.
Stupid Google.
That’s what she said.
I smell poop.
I want that cupcake SO BAD but it is Lent. I can’t eat the cupcake I can’t eat the cupcake I can’t eat the cupcake.
Why can’t anyone flush the toilet around here?
If I was gay I would so flirt with her.
I am eating a tarantula.
I have a strange change in my breast and they can’t get me in until March?!
I want to make more money so I can secretly give to other people.
He didn’t come home last night. YES!
That house has been empty for over a year.
I would do Johnny Depp even if he was dressed as the Mad Hatter.
I haven’t been on a curly slide in YEARS!
What did the dog eat that was red?

Seriously. Are these things so important that my brain had to form an internal sentence about them? If I had Tourette’s Syndrome I’d be in trouble.

I would LOVE for you to take a minute to think about what has run across YOUR mind in the last few days. How bizarre, mundane or freakish has YOUR brain chatter been? Extra points for honesty!