My Brain Is A Scary Thing – But What DID That Dog Eat? « Shoot Me Now

Shoot Me NowMy Brain Is A Scary Thing – But What DID That Dog Eat?

My Brain Is A Scary Thing – But What DID That Dog Eat?
Published on Monday, February 22, 2010 by

Self talk. We all do it.  Think about it – no pun intended.  Our minds are constantly chattering.  Picture yourself driving alone or trying to fall asleep.  Your brain is always noting things, thinking about things, questioning things – you are constantly talking to yourself.

Wait.  I am assuming an awful lot.  Maybe it’s just me.  Probably.  Yup, most likely.  OK, so I will rephrase that.  I hear my brain chatter all the time.  You know, just making note of things.  “Oh, that is so pretty.”  “I’m really tired.”  “If I repainted the living room, what color would I use?”

Driving home today, I began to think about, well, things I had thought about this weekend.  And then I imagined saying these things out loud to a stranger who might not know the context in which they were thought.  Surely I would be locked up.

So here are a few things that ran through my mind this weekend.

  • Apollo is sexy, but what’s with that ear?
  • Whoa, there are little creatures swimming in there.
  • Do lesbian couples HAVE to have a “who is the man and who is the woman” thing, or is that just something from TV?
  • They have a row of TIKI GUYS on their lawn!
  • Its 4:00 and I haven’t eaten anything today. Chalk one up for gastroparesis.
  • Holy CRAP, this is a FREAKING MASION!
  • Why do I have to struggle so much to simply buy groceries. I’m smart and I know how to make websites, so there has GOT to be a way to keep me from barely keeping my head above water.
  • Stupid Google.
  • That’s what she said.
  • I smell poop.
  • I want that cupcake SO BAD but it is Lent. I can’t eat the cupcake I can’t eat the cupcake I can’t eat the cupcake.
  • Why can’t anyone flush the toilet around here?
  • If I was gay I would so flirt with her.
  • I am eating a tarantula.
  • I have a strange change in my breast and they can’t get me in until March?!
  • I want to make more money so I can secretly give to other people.
  • He didn’t come home last night. YES!
  • That house has been empty for over a year.
  • I would do Johnny Depp even if he was dressed as the Mad Hatter.
  • I haven’t been on a curly slide in YEARS!
  • What did the dog eat that was red?

Seriously.  Are these things so important that my brain had to form an internal sentence about them?  If I had Tourette’s Syndrome I’d be in trouble.

I would LOVE for you to take a minute to think about what has run across YOUR mind in the last few days.  How bizarre, mundane or freakish has YOUR brain chatter been?  Extra points for honesty!

mom blog

  • I’m frantically job hunting (coming up on 6 months) so I have a TON of chatter in my brain. You are not alone! My “stuff” is as follows:

    *”Why did I say THAT to the interviewer? Damn that was stupid!”
    *”Snowiest winter in 30 years here and I moved to avoid the snow… Ain’t that the shit?”
    *”Should I wear my hair up? Or down? Does a bun make me look too old? Or does it make me look like I’m going for (and failing at) the sexy librarian look?”
    *”How am I going to pay rent? Am I going to have to put groceries on a credit card? Great 23% interest for milk and toilet paper… I’m gonna have to take some EPIC shits to justify that…”
    *”Why can’t I train the cats to use the toilet? Oh yeah, the water bill would be astronomical because they’d be fascinated by watching it flush…”

    THAT is what goes on in my head when I’m trying to sleep. And the sleep deprivation as a result makes things not very fun. No one likes to sit next to “the drooly chick” on the bus!

  • LJP

    I laughed so much at your thoughts!! It’s just as well we don’t say these out loud!

    “Smoke on the water…” – had it in my head for 3 hours!!!
    “I want mushroom quiche!!”
    “I saw three ships come sailing in on Christmas Day…”
    “My nose is itchy”
    “Mercury must be in retrograde”

  • You’re too funny! My drive to and from work is a half hour drive so I have an hour to think/daydream a lot while driving:

    *Can you take down your frickin’ Christmas decorations and lights, already – it’s February for God sakes!
    *The next ‘Amish Buggy’ I pass, I’m gonna get out and ask if I can take a picture of them.
    *The disgusting food stain on my car seat is grossing me out!
    *It’s too bad I can’t drink and drive…..it sure would make the ride home more fun!
    *My hair makes my face look fat!
    *I seriously need to find my ‘coyote ugly buttless chaps’

  • Stupid Google, And, That’s what she said are two thoughts I have on a daily basis! And you are NOT alone. My brain NEVER stops. And I am forever talking to myself. The problem is? Sometimes I talk to myself OUT LOUD!

  • Like Meleah, I sometimes find myself saying these things aloud rather than to myself. It can be quite embarrassing. Here are some of my thoughts…

    Tomorrow, I am going to finish that.
    I wonder if the dog is ok.
    Why does it have to snow again.
    Does that mean I don’t have to get up today?
    I am not making any more plans for March.
    I lost my drink.
    The kids are quiet, what are they doing? In fact, I better go check.

  • I think if I told you people would definitely tell me I was like Mother Teresa, only better-looking….

    I know, I’m humble and shy. What to do…..

  • Excellent post, and so very true!
    My brain never stops. For example:

    Waking up in the middle of the night, debating whether or not I should get up to go pee.

    Waking up in the middle of the night and counting to myself how many more hours before I have to get up.

    Waking up in the middle of the night and saying to myself…’48 hours from now it will be 4:00 AM on SATURDAY morning, and I won’t have to worry about getting up!’

  • My brain is chattering all the time, I have to stop myself from saying half the stuff outloud. Think goodness we stop and think before we blurt out some of those things that are brain is just dying to know. And thank goodness someone can’t see or hear our thoughts — I know I would be in deep trouble.

  • Holy Crap! Theres a girl on top of that
    Dang, Why did he have to ask her out first
    How did that fit in there?!?!
    If I jumped from here, could I land on him as he runs by?
    How did SHE end up with HIM!?
    Screw it, Im tired of jumping up and down

  • -how do ceiling fans keep all that dust on the egde of the blade?
    -is cream soda just carbonated brown sugar water?
    -why does the dog always want to lick me after licking his butt?
    -did I always have a mole there?!?
    -I am thirsty, but if I drink a cup of tea I will have to go to the bathroom and I am tired.
    -how do figure skaters get their spankies on over the skates since their pantyhose are oer the skates?
    -why bother shaving my legs in the winter?
    -I wonder if I could keep it a secret if I won the lottery?
    -I wish my van was blue
    -I lost 5 pounds this week, why do I suddenly look 8 months pregnant?
    -yep, these pants make my butt look big

  • Do you know that this is high time to get the loan, which can realize your dreams.

  • Informative post! I want to hear more stories from the Katherine… tell us more…

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