I Smell Like… « Shoot Me Now

Shoot Me NowI Smell Like…

I Smell Like…
Published on Tuesday, December 14, 2010 by

lush conditioner

Dear Lush,

Hi Lush, remember me?  It’s Katherine, your number one fan.  I’m the one who will give up her last piece of chocolate for a Godiva Shampoo Bar.  I’m the one who went to Vegas and skipped it all, just to visit her first and only Lush store.  And when asked what I want for my birthday I replied with one word.  Lush.

So about that whole birthday thing.  Guess what I got?  A check.  To spend.  On me.  At Lush online.  SWEET.

I decided it was time to try out your conditioners.  If you look at my picture, you will see I should have tried this long ago.  Curly.  Frizzy.  Dry.  Bleh.  After two hours of debating, I chose three.  Jungle, Retread and R & B.  I must have read every review at least three times.  Sad, I know.

To my AMAZEMENT, I have found the ultimate conditioner for curly hair.  Lush R & B.  Holy HAT does this stuff work.  Defined.  Soft. Sexy.  My hair has never looked better.  I believe the angels came down from heaven to mix this miracle conditioner.

Except for one tiny, little, eensy weensy thing.  It stinks.

No.  You don’t get it.  It really REALLY stinks.

When I first opened the jar my daughter exclaimed, “Ewww what is that SMELL!”  I turned to the dog, but then realized it was R & B.  Oh Man!

But this was Lush, after all.  I had to try it.  The next morning I held my nose (this time the dog looked at me), closed my eyes and put it on.  This was so not going to work.  My nose began to run.  My head began to ache.  I couldn’t stand it and pulled my hair back away from my face.  And went to work.

It was there that someone noticed my “scent.”

“Ummmm… Katherine… what IS that?!”

“It’s my Lush Fail.  I can’t talk about it.  But doesn’t my hair look GREAT?”

“But it smells!”

“I know.  But I look great!”

“Did you bring your dog to work?”


Two others walked up.  “Let ME smell!”  “I want to smell!”  Sheepishly, I lowered my head and offered myself up.



“Well, it isn’t SO bad…”

And finally?

“Sniff.”  “Sniff.”  “You Smell Like Old Lady.”

And there it was.  I smelled like Old Lady.

One of my co-workers has renamed your product.  As he flew out the door he called, “R & B?  More like Raunchy and Blech!”  Oh ha ha.

I’ve got three pennies, an expired coupon and half a pack of gum I’ll trade you if you make your R & B smell like Godiva.  Or Noubar.  Or a younger lady.

Because I am your biggest fan.  And this product ROCKS.

Most Sincerely,

Stinky and Beautiful

mom blog

  • Oh God, Don’t you hate it when that happens? I used a mayonaise conditioner on my hair (yeah it works too), but I ended up smelling like a potato salad for a week after. Could not get rid of that scent for about 10 shampoos. Ugh! Katherine, maybe the trick is to only use it when you can be worshiped from afar.

  • Bwahahahahaha. So you are going to use it even if it makes you stink, all because your hair looks great. You crack me up.

    Have a terrific day. 🙂

  • Awww. That is a bummer. They better re-scent it!!! 🙂

  • Oh MAN!! There is nothing worse that something that works so well but stinks to high heaven!!

    Stupid question – did you complain to them? Maybe another coupon or something?!?!


  • Castart6

    ha ha, hilarious!

  • Oh man! That’s a total let down. Too bad your hair has to stink to look good!

  • lol. Sorry stinky princess. That was really funny. I do love you product endorsement-fails!!

  • LOL.. she is a grandmother, right? OMG!!

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