The Secret To Longevity « Shoot Me Now

Shoot Me NowThe Secret To Longevity

The Secret To Longevity
Published on Thursday, February 3, 2011 by


I think Keith Richards has an inside scoop on the secret to longevity.  As did George Burns, God rest his soul.  The answer to it all?  Smoking and Booze.  That, my friends, is the key to living long and large.  At least that is my theory.

Because over the last year or so I have lost 35 pounds.  I have taken red meat out of my diet and I stick to healthy, wholesome meals.  I exercise regularly and attempt to sell tickets to my gun show around the house.  No takers yet.

On the weekends I allow for treats, but on the whole I am getting healthier as each day passes.  I am fighting my gastroparesis monster every day.  The monster that turns vegetables in to pain.  The monster that brings about extreme nausea after eating foods that were once thought safe.  The monster that just may be doing me in.

Monday was my annual physical.  I was excited to see where I was at.  You lose weight, you exercise, you get a good report card, yes?


Upon leaving the doctor’s office looking like a deer in the headlights, I now have a bulleted list of things that are NOT GOOD.

  • I am anemic.
  • My thyroid stimulating hormone is high.
  • My glucose is high.
  • I need to get an ultrasound on my heart, to “check out the whooshing sound” that used to be a common, non-threatening heart murmur.

Really?  REALLY?!!

Lately everything has been a chore.  Getting through the day is difficult, to say the least.  And now I know why.  If you are anemic, you will feel bad.  If you have a bad thyroid level, you will feel bad.  If you have over the top blood sugar, you will feel bad.  I have all three.  And don’t forget that whooshing sound!

So this weekend, look out.  I plan to party Keith Richards style.  I’m gonna get some Jack and a box of stogies.  Then I’ll throw on some spandex, stand on the couch and do the Keith Richards Monkey Dance to Jumpin’ Jack Flash.  Because right now, time is not on my side.

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  • So sorry to hear about your health concerns. That is the worst, to have to stress about your health when you really need to be a Mommy and still function in life. I was really anemic after giving birth, there is an iron supplement that is great (no pill, easy for your body to digest and absorb), not sure if you’ve hear of it, Floradix ( No spam I PROMISE. Just passing on a little knowledge on that subject. That stuff helped me to get my energy back. It must be so frustrating to be doing so good with your diet and exercise and still have to worry. Have you read “The Power of Now”. I am still working on it myself, it’s a lot to chew. It’s great to see you have such a positive attitude and a great outlet for relating, and expressing what you’re going through. Take care!

    • Angela… I laughed when i clicked on the link. I went to a health food/supplement kind of place and was looking at a huge shelf of iron, not knowing what to get. An employee asked if I needed help. I asked her what would work the best and she immediately pointed to the floradix. You NEED that one. You will absorb it quickly and more of it. It is the very best. So I got i! 🙂 🙂 🙂 I actually feel better already. I hate that it won’t last as long as I will need it… gotta save for some more. But THANK YOU because now I feel so much better about my choice!

  • Mishelle

    Well DAMN.

    Party hard this weekend then get back in line… you know you’ll be sick as a dog and wondering why you did it. BUT and this is a big but (like my butt hee hee hee!!) party hard first. Make the hangover worth it.

    Fingers crossed for you.


  • Mishelle

    ps- I am going to wanna see a vidoe of you doing the monkey dance to Jumping Jack Flash.

    • Oh darn the luck. I had a video but I accidentally erased it. But I really DID do the dance and take a video. Honest? What… you don’t believe me? 😉

  • I am surprised you have been able to get out of bed with that medical report. I am glad you got checked out. I hope the ultrasound finds something non-threatening. Maybe you should rest this weekend rather than partying hard (although if you choose to party, I will respect your decision).

    • Oh trust me, the partying was all a fantasy. In reality, I’ve cleaned the bathrooms, walked the dog, went to church and drove my daughter around. All in all I would say a perfect day. No Keith Richards partying for this old gal. But I am in my head!!!

  • Honey, relax. There are meds for thyroid. Not really a big deal. I had 90 percent of mine removed when I was 25 and in the last year, my Doc said it was a little low. There’s a med for that. If yours is high, there’s a med or a procedure for that. Not a biggie. High glucose. I think they just have you change your diet. My doc picked up a “whoosh” on me too, but it’s fine. Anemia can be simply from eating “right” too much. Spinach is good, if you can tolerate it or they may give you iron. Keep doing what you are doing with the diet and exercise. That’s never bad. Plus, darling Emma needs her walks! You’re fine. Wait and see.

    • Linda I NEEDED to read your comment. I guess it was just such a surprise… I was feeling so proud of myself. I could deal with one, but four things was a bit much. I feel so much better already from the iron I’m taking. Two people who are closest to me both think – no, are TELLING me – my diet is most likely the cause of the anemia. Like you said, too much healthy really. No red meat, just turkey, kefir, etc. Not a lot of protein – something I need to work on. I have been keeping a journal of my diet with an app on my phone and showed it to a health guy. He was astounded at how few calories I eat a day. I guess with gastroparesis I am so used to going so long w/o food that it seems normal to me. So I’m working on that – I honestly would not be surprised if it was ALL from my diet. I am actually able to eat cooked spinach and put it in with my turkey. I can’t eat any raw fruits or veggies – things have to be mush, and even then I can’t eat it all. But I’m trying.Why did you have your thyroid removed so young? Did you have a high thyroid that could not be controlled?

  • Well I’m on this one. I’ll pass on the smokes, but bring on the booze.

    I’m sorry you are having medical issues. I just hate that.

    Sending good thoughts and vibes your way. 🙂

  • Bummer, Katherine!
    But on the bright side, this gives you an opportunity to feel better. I mean, no one wants to have an illness, but if you have do, better to have it diagnosed and treated.
    You are anemic and hypothyroid. They will figure out the cause of the anemia and correct it. You will feel better. And the treatment for low thyroid is easy. When both of these things are corrected, there is an excellent chance you will feel the energizing effect, AND… it just might help the gastroparesis. Hypothyroidism affects the stomach, too!
    I’ll keep my fingers and toes crossed for you!

    • You know what? I was reading up on thyroid and was surprised to see it affects the stomach. Mine has been worse lately – so it all makes sense. I already started iron and I feel a huge difference… I am a really active person – I never just “sit” (which I should probably do more often) – but lately that seems to be all I’ve been doing. Funny, I didn’t realize something was wrong with me – I figured it was my lack of sunlight. When the doc told me, I was almost relieved because the “lightbulb” went on – that there was a REASON for me feeling bad. You are right… I just have to fix one thing at a time. Keep those fingers and toes crossed! 😉

  • Good thoughts and advice here. Not so sure about the partying, but hey, whatever gets you through, although I believe in everything in moderation (except the smokes – I wouldn’t go there).

    My advice is don’t stress about all this. Accept it, treat it, and keep up the good things you are already doing. Stress only makes the symptoms worse, and even bring on more symptoms.

    Take care!

    • Linda, excellent advice. One thing at a time. I started the iron Monday and was able to clean this weekend – something I couldn’t even get up for earlier. As far as the partying… the most I’ve done this weekend other than cleaning is go to church and drive kids around. Ahhhh what a crazy life I lead LOL! No partying here – and I wouldn’t smoke if someone offered me a million bucks, trust me! I’m just trying to eat more things with iron, take the new iron pills and Monday I should get my test results back. I’ll leave the partying to the young folks out there ha ha!

  • Well, doesn’t that just all suck scissors. I tend to agree with you. Fuck it. Party and have a good time. Seriously, though… my best wishes, my friend. Can’t think of anything worse than having the body betray such a nice person.

  • Oh no! Im so sorry to hear this news. I can fully sympathize with you. I have crohn’s and celiacs, and food allergies all of which make eating “healthy” impossible. And yes, anemia will make you incredibly sluggish. I hope you have fun partying like a rock star!

  • Hope you re feeling stronger and better Katherine. Dont let them doctors get you down. Its just numbers. you re here for a gazillion years more…

    • Oh I hope I’m here for a gazillion years more! I want to be there for weddings, babies and taking care of grandchildren… when I get to be super super old I’ll be ready I’m sure, but not now! Fortunately my echo came back normal – a strong ticker woo hoo!

    • Oh I hope I’m here for a gazillion years more! I want to be there for weddings, babies and taking care of grandchildren… when I get to be super super old I’ll be ready I’m sure, but not now! Fortunately my echo came back normal – a strong ticker woo hoo!

  • Anonymous

    They say only the good die young, hence the longevity of those bad boys.

    Hope everything turns out alright for you!!!

    • Did you hear me laugh from way over where you are!!!??? THAT LINE WAS GOOD! I wish I was that clever… I always think of good things I SHOULD have said days later!

  • AF

    Medics! Depressing, aren’t they? If your TSH is high, then your Thyroxin is probably low. And if your Thyroxin is low, then you tend to lack energy. A high percentage of women and some men suffer from this – more women than men because it’s often associated with big hormonal changes such as puberty, childbirth etc. It’s VERY controllable and no big deal if it’s attended to (usually an annual blood test once stabilised).

    The rest of it? Hmm… if it was me, I’d tell ’em “I’ll call you sometime,” though a bit of red meat now and then might help the anemia some… Balance!

    I always think medics are a bit like car mechanics – everything’s fine and running well until you talk to one of those guys! Hope things turn out well, though. 🙂

    • Actually I found something really great… it’s called “thyroid support” and is all natural. It is affordable and it has made ALL the difference along with daily iron. I did it on my own, was so OVER my doctor. That whole thing where they are only allowed 15 minutes with you… just not right. But the thyroid support has made all the difference. Perimenopause. BAH!

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