Liars « Shoot Me Now

Shoot Me NowLiars

Liars
Published on Tuesday, February 18, 2014 by

Day 18 of the WWFC writing challenge gives us the subject, “Liars.”

There are liars everywhere.  And I have proof.

  • A thoracic epidural is not a big deal.
  • Don’t worry about the accident paperwork.  You are done.  We will take care of everything for you.
  • I’m proud of you.
  • If you work hard you will see results.
  • I will always have your back.
  • Fishbites really work.
  • You aren’t in labor.
  • Your smile is pretty.
  • You don’t need an antibiotic.
  • The iPhone 5 has a long battery life.
  • You will look beautiful with short hair.

 

Katherine Schulze

george washington hair

bad short haircut

My kids called me George for a month….

What are some doozies you have been told?!

 

mom blog

  • That IS a bad haircut when your kids call you “George.”

    • Yup!!! It was so funny when one of them finally put a name to it. MOM! YOU LOOK LIKE GEORGE WASHINGTON! It was nothing but George for two months after!

  • Ron

    OMG Katherine, you are so cleverly hilarious with the photos!

    And I have to say (and I’m not lying), long hair or short hair, you look beautiful! And this is coming from someone who used to cut hair for a living.

    “The iPhone 5 has a long battery life.”

    And it was the same thing with my laptop computer, but they LIED.

    X

    • RON RON RON I NEED YOU TO CUT MY HAIR!!!!!!! I was a shampoo girl in high school… I had SO MUCH FUN playing with my hair in downtime… people would get bored and experiment. So do you recommend any good frizzy curly hair products or has it been too long?

      And batteries…. yup… they NEVER last!

  • No, dear, those pants don’t make your ass look fat.

    What?

    • And what is wrong with a fat ass, Nonamedufus? Many of my acquaintances admire mine!

      • Dammit, you’re everywhere.

        • It only seems that way because of my fat ass.

          • And those pants are so slimming!

          • I like big butts and I cannot lie.

          • I don’t get big butts. I can’t understand people like Kim Kardashian who strive to grow their butts ever larger. What’s with that?

          • Actually I don’t get wanting implants for a bigger butt… if you want that bubble butt, just use those things you can buy to stick in your underwear… that way you can take it out if you want. I mean, imagine having one of those butts and you go to the movies and you sit so high no one can see around you!

          • OMG you two are KILLING ME!!!!!!!!

        • “Dammit you’re everywhere” HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!

  • Hilarious and clever…but really I think you would look beautiful no matter how you wear your hair.

    • THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! (notice my thighs and behind are NOT in the picture though LOL!)

  • “We’ve never had trouble making payroll before”
    “Til Death Do Us Part” (then why am I not a widow??)

    Honestly, though… your smile IS pretty!

    • One of my teeth overlaps a corner of the other… I am SO sensitive about that. I went to an orthodontist when I was a young teen and he said, “She has a pretty smile.. she does not need braces.” Well then I got older and they moved… ARGH!

      The payroll one… that is AWESOME! And sometimes parting is GOOD… death or not! ;D

  • ReformingGeek

    Haha! Your poor hair. I’m sure it wasn’t that bad. You have pretty eyes, too (not a lie!)

    • Actually that is the one thing I DO like about me. Women aren’t supposed to like anything about themselves, right? But I got my Dad’s eyes… so I have always appreciated them. So thank you!!!

  • Love your hair! Can’t imagine that you’d cut it, but it probably wasn’t as bad as you think. At least that what people told me when I didn’t like my cut.

    • Ohhh it was BAD. I liked it the first day, but then it just flew out on the sides like George Washington’s hair. It was bad bad BAD!

  • May I say that this challenge that we are all on….never has your blog title been more fitting. Meanwhile, your George hair isn’t bad at all. We are our own worst critics. And so are our kids. 🙂

    • Ha ha we are ALL liars! HA HA HA! Loved that! I remember when I was bending over and my then toddler said, “Mommy your bottom is BIG!” AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

  • You have a pretty smile! You have a pretty face. You have pretty hair. Don’t cut that hair. See! I told you I’m honest!

    • OK I will graciously say thank you! Did I do good? 🙂 Linda I will never EVER get my hair cut short EVER again. I learned my lesson! I love short hair and am always jealous of those who can pull it off (hint hint) but my hair is just to poofy… I look HORRIBLE with short hair!

  • I can’t wear my hair short, either, Katherine! Can’t say as I’ve ever been called George, though.

  • KZ

    That is a fantastic specimen of photo editing, there. Professional Photoshop skills all the way. No lie.

  • BAhahHhAHhAHhAHh! You’re cracking me the hell up!

    Also – The iPhone 5 has a long battery life. BIGGEST LIE EVER!

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