Kyle: Funny Man and Guest Blogger « Shoot Me Now

Shoot Me NowKyle: Funny Man and Guest Blogger

Kyle: Funny Man and Guest Blogger
Published on Thursday, May 28, 2009 by

How do you describe Kyle in only a few words?  I don’t think you do.  To my right at work are Larry and Kyle, respectively.  Larry is the straight man while Kyle is the comic relief.  Basically, Kyle is the Chris Farley to Larry’s David spade, only take off the pounds and make him a 21 year old baseball coach who plays hardware technician during the day. (He’s just a babyyyyyyy!) It’s always entertaining to watch the two have a conversation, to say the least.

 

Recently Kyle sent me the picture below, knowing I have a blog or two. 

 

 

Ha ha, Kyle, so funny I forgot to laugh.  (OK, I laughed.)   “And you can do better?”  Well, here is his chance.  Kyle offered to write a blog for me.  Knowing Kyle, I had to run down the motherly list for him.  “It can’t have profanity.”  OK.  “It has to be family friendly.”  OK and so on.  He slipped a bit, but I will forgive him.

 

So I introduce to you, Kyle, the funny guy and his very first blog post.  I’ve left it as is – no spell checks or grammar fixes.  After reading his blog (saying so much to so few?) you will understand why I enjoy working where I do.  There is rarely a dull moment, as you can see.

 

KYLE’S BLOG: 

Today is May 26th 2009. This morning started off… ehh… what some would call bad? I suppose, but I am a firm believer in the fact that “The Day is What You Make of it”. So, I turned my frown upside down and started the day. What I failed to realize is the clock had struck 8:15 and I needed to be at my desk by 8:00, not including the 20 minute drive I had ahead of me. Fiddle sticks! As I proceeded to leave the house, the pesky gas light came on making that god awful “DING DING DING”, it’s like SHUTUP I KNOW ALREADY!!!. It’s okay though, I got this! Finally, arrived at work, ehhh… not so bad so far. Traffic was not too bad, minus the person I cut off giving me the one finger of love. Since he expressed how he felt, I thought it is only in good measure to reply. So, I simply smiled back and expressed my love for him in the same fashion. Not sure if he liked that too much or not. He began to speak in sign language, which I could not understand butt he weird thing was his mouth was moving. He looked sort of upset. Maybe? Unfortunately, I was unable to make out anything he was saying. I just waved goodbye kept on driving.

Now I am at my desk. It’s time to get started. Jack, Jill, Bill and I head towards the Emergency Department. I should take this moment to explain we currently work for a Hospital. As we make our way to this department we have to start moving equipment around. There was a problem. There is a god awful screech, almost ear piercing. Imagine taking an electric saw and running it against metal or concrete slab while trying to cut.  This is what we had to listen to since they were removing a wall. Who would have thought that’s what could have been causing the noise? Any who, I strap on my latex gloves and look over at Jack and yell “Who’s ready for their examination!” He gave me this look as if… ya… can’t tell you what but let’s say it wasn’t pretty. I replied back to him, “God don’t like ugly!” Again, with the looks, maybe I should take him to the eye doctor. Now, after I pondered around for a few minutes it was time to help out. I had squat down to begin to remove the peripherals attached to the computer. I looked down and saw a coke stain that had grown spores. This place is way, way, way to dirty for me! Dust had blanketed the entire floor and dust bunnies were having horse races while drinking tequila. I asked the scientist who was standing next to me if they found a new species of bacteria yet. He replied “Only a few, mainly the ones that cause the common cold”. That’s enough of this! I ran into the bat cave and out came the “Dust Buster”, fully equipped with a hazmat suite, latex gloves, a breathing respirator and a hair fish net for added safety. I was ready for battle. Even though I felt sorta, maybe, kinda, just a little weird that people were staring at me. Though the reason they were staring might have been because as I swooped down from the ceiling with DustOff in one hand and Goo Gone in the other yelling “Have no fear, the DUST BUSTER is here!” No, no just kidding but that would have been funny.

 

 

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  • That Guy

    tl;dr

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