I’m Joe Cross’ Biggest Nightmare « Shoot Me Now

Shoot Me NowI’m Joe Cross’ Biggest Nightmare

I’m Joe Cross’ Biggest Nightmare
Published on Monday, January 13, 2014 by

I stumbled upon Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead while surfing through movies on Netflix.  Documentary?  Why not… I’ll give it a go.  And then I was hooked.  By the end of the movie I was ready to race to the store to buy fruits and veggies for juicing.  A trip that was delayed for months.

I’m not sure what made me finally bite the bullet and begin a juice fast.  In a nutshell, I believe it was my complete dismay at not being able to lose the weight I gained after the dreaded car accident.  With constant back pain, my use of overhead weight machines came to a screeching halt.  Of course I have to add that I was hit from behind, it was completely her fault and I have suffered for 1.5 years since.  But that is another post.

Having gastroparesis and not being able to eat raw veggies, I wasn’t sure how it would go.  One glass of juice could potentially send me in to enough pain to double me over.  Surprisingly, all was fine with my first glass of veggies and fruit.  Could I do this for three days?  How about more?  With GP I’m used to going for long periods of time with no food, so why not?

Breaking out my 15+ year old juicer, I proceeded to mix together spinach, broccoli, parsley, kale, beets, cilantro, carrots, celery, cucumbers, ginger, colored peppers, jalapeno, apples, oranges, collards and more.

healthy juicing ideas

By the end of day one I was hungry.  OH SO HUNGRY.  But I was determined.  I tweeted about how hard it was and was rewarded with a huge surprise… a tweet back from Joe Cross!  NO WAY!  (I am pretending it was really him rather than his PR staff.  Don’t judge.)

tweeting joe cross

Fast forward five days of nothing but juice.  On day six I decided it was time for solid foods for dinner.  My first dish was Joe’s amazing acorn squash stuffed with mushrooms, onion and sage.  It was absolutely delicious and fed me for two nights.

Now for the interesting part.  This past weekend we were out of town for a Great Wolf Lodge Waterpark extravaganza.  I decided that since I would not be able to juice, I would eat not only regular food, but vacation food.  AND ENJOY IT.  It was a planned science experiment, if you will.

One barbecue sandwich and several fried sweet potato sticks later the brain fog kicked in.  For the next night and day I fell in to a food stupor.  Headache, brain fog, sluggish, tired, lazy and stuffed up coupled with a side of pretty bad gastric distress.  No WONDER so many Americans are overweight and underactive.  I could hardly move!  But move I did, up about a billion stairs for a day and a half. Each step left me tired and out of breath as if I had never stepped foot in a gym.

Happily, I am back to juicing after two days of unhealthy food BLEH.  The bad part?  My juicer is half broken.  First of all, it is so old that I have to cut everything up in to tiny pieces.  Then I have to hold and push down on the top as hard as I can while attempting to get food through with chute with the other hand.  I also have to empty it three times as the motor quickly slows down to zero.

When the juicer dies I’ll be devastated and my juicing days will quickly be over.

What are the benefits I have enjoyed since I’ve begun to juice?  My skin seems healthier.  I am more energetic.  I am in a better mood.  I am losing weight.  And I am enjoying a happy tummy – something I haven’t had in years.

But the best part of it all?  I have gained CLARITY.  For so many years I have told everyone, “I forget everything.  I have a terrible memory.”  After five days of juicing it was like a fog lifted.  And the weekend I ate “bad American food?”  It came back immediately.

Now I understand why so many Americans look and feel the way they do.  Because I, Katherine Murray, made a plate that looked like THIS during my two day bad food experiment.

typical American breakfast

It made me tired, sick to my stomach, foggy, lazy and… well…. It sent me to the bathroom… SEVERAL times.

If you decide to start up juicing, be prepared.  Some of your friends and family members will have your back while others will proclaim, “You realize you have gone over the deep end doing this?!”

No matter.  Do what makes you feel good.  And juicing WILL MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD.  Even if it is one glass a day.

I can’t wait to see where I will be in a month.  Two months.  A year.  Juicing is now a part of my life.  I plan to juice all day and eat healthy food at night.  But skipping daily black coffee and a weekend vodka lemondrop?  I’m getting healthy… not going CRAZY!

Yes, I am Joe Cross’ biggest nightmare.  Sorry Joe!

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