I Think I Will Be OK

Published on Thursday, February 11, 2010 by Katherine

I have just spent 30 minutes typing a new blog post. Only to realize I better not publish it. Because it involved situations and people that are not in my home circle. And that could be bad.

So I will get to the bottom line here. I beat myself up too much. I worry too much. I skip meals due to my flippy-floppy stomach, caused by worry worry worry. I have had about five hours sleep each night for the past three nights, simply because I can’t let things go that I should let go. I need to forget ugly things people say who don’t even know me or my children. I also need to realize that not everything is going to be bad. That sometimes, news is pretty darn amazing when you least expect it.

Why can’t I let things go that I can’t control? And why do I worry so much about what other people think? Not people in my circle, but people who have nothing to do with me? What matters is my family, my friends… they know me, they love me and they know the truth. And even better, God knows the truth. Other people do-not-matter.

But I have always been this way. I have always wanted everyone to like me. I am non-confrontational. I am patient, forgiving and calm in most storms. But often times, when I know there is friction, the storm starts inside of me. It turns my stomach into a rock that moves between nausea and pain. This is not healthy. My mind knows it doesn’t matter what goes on outside of my family and friends. I’m smart enough to recognize that. But then my worry kicks in.

Please, somebody smack me. Shake my brain so all the worry and stupid stuff will fall out. So I can get back on track again. So I can eat and sleep again. Ugh.

You know, I think I should be more like Jen and talk to myself out loud. Or be like little Brick on The Middle who speaks a sentence, looks down and then mumbles something in to his chest. I like those ideas. Anything to get it OUT of me, right?

Yup, I think I’m going to start whispering like Brick does on The Middle. <yessss I willlll> Not only will I get everything out that needs to come out <outttt>, but people might think I’m crazy and choose not to talk to me altogether! <togettthhherrrrr>

Don’t worry, it all turns out alright, and he keeps whispering. <whissssperinnnnggg> And Santa gives him presents. <preeeeessennntttttsss!> As for me? I think I will be OK. <okkkayyyyyyyy!>

Jen

Consider yourself smacked. I worry too, though it seems less and less as I get older. I worry about the important stuff, stuff I still have no control over but stuff I can’t stop worrying about such as if my kid is out at night I worry about him if he is late. I worry about my kids the most but not in an OCD kind of way anymore.

Don’t worry about what people think of you, what are they going to do, take away your birthday?

Hang in their kiddo, it will get better, and she is an idiot who talks too much. Hold your head high, that’s where it belongs.
Stetson

You know, I used to be a worrier like that, and I felt I just couldn’t control my mind. That I would suffer with those worries all my life.

Then I found a meditation techinque that promises not only to calm the mind, but attract good fortune to my life path.

And, you know, without being superstitious about it, it seems to work.

Not only am I much calmer, but by simply meditating for a short time each day or whenever I get really stressed, things seem somehow to always work out for the best.

The phrase is “Nam Myoho Renge Kyo.” It originated with a Japanese monk at some point in the long lost past. Try it for a week, and if you don’t notice “happy coincidences” starting in your life, stop using it.

Can’t hurt to try.

Stetson

ToysPeriod is a leading online shop specializing in lego sets and model railroad equipment.
Lees Shizzle

Nice Blog
I included your blog in my Frolicking Friday’s post. I hope others come to visit it for you. Now I’m worried 🙁 I’m a worrier too… lol
Anne

I have the same issue. I am extremely non-confrontational and I worry about everything. Too bad we can’t all let go a little more.
JAS

I’m the same. I worry about every little thing. It drives my laid back husband crazy. If my girls are upset so am I. The funny thing is they bounce back so much quicker than me. They’re usually laughing and having a great time and I have tears in my eyes still thinking about it. Just try to move on to happier things. I know it’s hard, but in the end all you can do is move on. I’m sending you a hug and hope you feel better.