I Am Going To Adopt Jamie Oliver « Shoot Me Now

Shoot Me NowI Am Going To Adopt Jamie Oliver

I Am Going To Adopt Jamie Oliver
Published on Tuesday, March 23, 2010 by

Jamie Oliver

I don’t have cable, so during the week my mother will tape a favorite show or two for us to watch on the weekends.  These usually include anything Anthony Bourdain, Anne Burrell and of course, Jamie Oliver.

I’ve salivated over many Jamie Oliver shows, mindlessly repeating NOM NOM NOM as I do my best impression of Homer Simpson eying a do-nut.  Healthy, fresh and often outdoor cooking – what could be better.

And charming?  Jamie Oliver has it all.  British charm, a boyish cuteness and an obvious devotion to his wife and children.  This guy is gold.  But after watching an hour long sneak peek of Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution, I’ve decided the man has jumped past gold and reached pure platinum.

In Food Revolution, Jamie leaves his family for a three month long stay in the most unhealthy city in the United States.  There, he begins his revolution to completely change school meals and to teach residents how to cook healthy and delicious food.  And he is doing it FOR FREE.

Imagine walking down the street to Jamie’s Kitchen, only to learn from THE MASTER.  A few ingredients here, several spices there (while trying not to peek at his butt) and voila – instant cooking lesson from a Naked Chef.  Do these people have any idea who he is and what he is sacrificing to help them?

Watching Jamie Oliver try to work around the USDA will be quite a thing to see.  But even better?  Jamie Oliver working around the lunch ladies, who are none too happy to have him there!

The Sneak Peek introduces a family whose mother uses the deep fryer daily for almost every meal.  Jamie spends a day with her and cooks everything she normally does, meal after meal after meal.  He then throws all of the food on to the table, which soon becomes a mountain of greasy fried golden artery-clogging death.  The previously giggling mother soon breaks down, stating, “I  am killing my children!”  Jamie is not one to lie.  “Yes, you are.  But not anymore.”

Jamie is accused of doing all this for television.  During the show, he tears up, explaining his ideas for change are truly from his heart.  And I believe him.

Watching this show, I smugly thought to myself, “How can you possibly feed your children that JUNK!”  But that one finger pointing away revealed four others pointing back at me.  What goes in my children’s lunches?  A sandwich on honey wheat bread – not so bad.  But what about the “filler” I throw in there?  Granola bars.  Potato chips for one.  Little Debbie for another.  All processed crap.

So I’ve made a decision.  I am going to adopt Jamie Oliver.  He’s happily married, making the whole cougar thing ridiculous.  I know what you are saying.  “Katherine, you are too old to be a grandmother!”  Yea, I know.  But hey, this is Jamie Oliver!

I figure he can help me find healthy foods I can tolerate with my Gastroparesis.  He can help me prepare healthy school lunches that my children will actually consume.  He can teach me to prepare pork loin that falls apart in your mouth.  And I’ll babysit for him so he and his wife can have a night on the town.  This requires me moving to England.  As long as my mom and kids can come… and as long as I can bring my warm Corolla beach, then I’m in.

But seriously?  I’m on board and have signed his Food Revolution petition.  Won’t you sign too?

And while you are at it – healthy school lunch ideas. Comments. Below. HINT!

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