Happy Birthday To The Girl I Always Dreamed About « Shoot Me Now

Shoot Me NowHappy Birthday To The Girl I Always Dreamed About

Happy Birthday To The Girl I Always Dreamed About
Published on Monday, January 11, 2010 by

I vividly remember dreams throughout my life of a little girl that I knew would be my daughter.  These dreams began as early as first grade.  And even then, I knew I would name her Elizabeth.

I was blessed with two amazing boys, both of whom I wouldn’t trade for the world.  OR for a little girl.  But my heart always remembered that protective feeling I had in my dreams towards a tiny little stranger.  A little girl that was a part of me, yet her own self.

Around the time I had my second son, my father was dying of cancer.  One afternoon when we were talking I said, “Dad, if you get to heaven before I do, would you send me a little girl?”  He half smiled and said, “We’ll see….”  It was only a moment, but one more significant than I knew at the time.

My third pregnancy was quite an unexpected surprise.  My marriage wasn’t happy, money was less than plentiful, and I was getting older.  The future was uncertain, except for a little baby that was destined to arrive in nine months.

I’ll never forget the ultrasound.  Flat on the table, not even daring to think it might be a girl.  Afraid to even hope.  After all, my boys were amazing.   As long as the baby was healthy, I would be happy.

When the technician told me the baby looked completely and absolutely perfect, I was finally able to relax.  And then the tech smirked a bit and sing-songed, “I think I know what it isssssss!  But I won’t tell you until I am done.”  My heart began to flutter.  And spin.  And flip flop.  And then she softly whispered to me, oh so softly, “it’s a girl.”

I began to weep.  My father had given me the greatest gift of all.  A daughter.  Hand selected, might I add.

When Elizabeth was a toddler, she would tell me she remembered Papa.  This memory faded with age, but is burned in to my heart forever.  Of course she remembered my father.  He was the first to hold her out of my entire family.

And here I am today, nine years later, with my girl at my side.  This beautiful, long-legged, graceful red-headed creature.  Amazingly bright, creative, nurturing and funny.  She can hold her own against her big brothers, and in turn can laugh with them harder than anyone.

My daughter has baited the hook and in turn caught the biggest bass of all of us.  And in the next step, she can dress in the most stunning, elegant and yet simple dress, happy at her young femininity.

When my close friend first saw her as a newborn, she smiled and said, “Katherine, she is an old soul.”  And indeed she is.  I can see years of knowledge in those deep blue eyes.  Her taste in simple elegance and natural compassion for others reveals wisdom beyond her years.

This little girl that I dreamed about all my life is next to me as I type.  Her eyes are heavy as she begins to fall asleep.  But I kept her awake for a minute more in order to kiss her cheeks and forehead.  “What is it mom?”  “I just wanted to kiss you a few more times while you are eight.”

Thank you Dad, for this wonderful gift.  And Happy 9th Birthday honey.  I thank God for you every day.

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  • Many Many Happy Returns of the Day from both of us…. me & my hubby…… Hope you are blessed with all the happiness & joy, but never forget the mother who has blessed you with all her love….. which meant to be only yours…..

    Lots of love & blessings,


  • Chris

    I loved reading that story. My older daughter just turned 8, and I’m amazed by her growing maturity every day, and just really enjoyed your post.

  • What a lovely story. I think I might borrow it if you don’t mind. My mom died before my little one was born and feels badly that she never got to meet her. I think she would be thrilled to think that “meema” picked her out for us.

    • But how do you know she DIDN’T pick her out? 🙂

  • Jen

    I don’t know if it’s hormones or just your ability to write such beautiful words but I cried as I read this story. What a gift you have written for your Elizabeth.

    I can completely understand your dreaming of your daughter long before she was born. I did the same thing with both of my children. Both pregnancies followed horrible loss. I became pregnant with my son five weeks after burying my first born daughter, I am convinced he saved my life. I found out I was pregnant with my daughter after suffering two miscarriages. When I had the first ultra sound they could not find her heart beat. I lay there and braced myself for what I knew was coming next since I had experienced it so often. The nurse told me she wanted to use a better, higher resolution ultra sound machine and we moved to another room where she and a doctor fumbled around for what seemed like forever. I had already convinced myself that my daughter was not meant to be. The nurse kept moving the wand around and got a small heartbeat. Her words were “We are hearing the first heartbeat” it wasn’t that it wasn’t there because it wasn’t a viable pregnancy but because it was just starting up. It was amazing.

    • Jen, you got ME crying…at my desk, no less! How beautiful. And your DAUGHTER is beautiful too, just like her red headed mommy! I read this to Elizabeth on her birthday morning and could hardly get through it. I was crying openly, choking up… but she is used to that with me… I’m a complete sap. She just waited patiently while she hugged me. 🙂

  • really beautiful story. wish you the best!

  • This is this kind of faith that is so sorely lacking in the world. However, one has to be open to it in order for it to become a reality. I am so happy for you that your family is so beautiful, including the boys.

    Unfortunately, an Elizabeth myself, I am childless.

    With your permission, I will pray for your children, and for you.

    That way, they will have one loving aunt to perhaps meet in the eternities or at least admire them and their mother from afar.

  • Best wishes to yo!really beautiful story!

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