His latest?  Two words…

Hair Socks!

Crazy if you don’t.

Work.  School.  Church.  Restaurants.  Stores.  I’ve carried it everywhere.  And no one said a THING.  In looking at a picture of it, I can only guess why.

Sanitary napkin?  Actually, no.  It’s a Toasty Toe.  As a result of my wacked out thyroid levels, my toes get cold during winter hikes.  So my hiking buddy always provides me with a nice fresh set of Toasty Toes.  I love my hiking buddy!

When I realized there was something stuck to my purse and turned it over, my first thought was “MAXI PAD!  I have been carrying my purse everywhere with a maxi pad stuck to the bottom of it!  And no-one-said-a-word!”

How many heads have I turned in the past few months?  “Pstt!  Look!   She has a feminine product stuck on her purse!”

Please, Mr. and Mrs. General Q. Public.  If I have a sanitary napkin stuck to my purse, please tell me. If I have spinach in my tooth, please tell me.   A bat in the belfry?  Hand me a tissue.  Please save me from myself.  I’m just sayin’!

That is what I heard the minute I turned on the television.  Where!  Mom’s house?!  When!

It was with great relief that they immediately began to show pictures of the three houses on fire.  These were McMansions, not my mother’s modest beach cottage.

In one breath I felt relief for us, and sadness for the owners and regular renters of those houses.  Apparently, the weather was “just right” (WRONG!) to take a small fire and turn it in to three blazing houses.

Thank heavens no one was injured.  The fire spread so quickly on this dry and windy day that the renters were unable to move their cars before they were set ablaze.

Two weeks ago, as the kids and I were leaving the beach house to go home, I made a mental note to look out for the area in which the houses burned.  Sure enough, I saw a few pieces of burned timber just above a line of brush.  Turning on the signal, I slowed Old Bessy and set a course towards the burned homes.

The three of us caught one collective breath as we looked at the remains of the Corolla beach houses.  Although these were used for rentals, they are still homes to a family, if not many returning families each year.  The loss is enough to make you count your blessings.

With a smattering of rain hitting my face, I got out of the car and walked towards the yellow line.  “MOM!  WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?”  I turned towards the car, smirked and CROSSED THE LINE.  Oh YEA I did!

Tiptoeing to the burned out cars, I took out my camera.  Did you catch that?  Tiptoeing?  It was broad daylight, rainy and OUTSIDE.  Shake your head, I know.

The kids were a bit hesitant to cross the line… but with my eager waves, they walked up to join me.  Some lines are meant to be crossed.

We didn’t go any closer to the house because I didn’t want anyone to step on glass or nails.  Had we been in our hiking clothing and boots, it might have been a different story.  Furthermore, we needed to get on the road before any big storms began to brew.

Here are the pictures I took from my cell phone.  I am still stunned by the images of the burned out cars.

I have been dying to tell you this story.  For THIRTY DAYS, I have been posting a picture a day in the amazing April photo challenge.  But for THIRTY DAYS I have had a story to tell that has kept me bursting at the seams.

The story I am about to tell is completely and absolutely true.  If you know me, there will be no question as to the validity of this tale.  No-question-at-all.

It actually occurred just before the photo challenge began.  My oldest had a friend visiting during spring break that we have not been able to see in two years.  To me, Victor is not a friend, he is my third son.  It was like having my boy home after far too much time.  It was indeed a cause for celebration.

So there we are, sitting at the amazing Y Not Pizza, ready to celebrate Victor’s temporary return to the nest. Restaurant trips are few and far between, because frankly, we are poor.  However, for Victor, we pulled out all the stops.  It was pizza and soda for all, money be damned!

Let me set the stage.  We are in the middle of the restaurant in a cushy red booth.  On my side is Sean, Victor and me.  Facing us on the other side are my two sons.  Everyone was pumped to be together again.

After drinks were served, straws were soon unwrapped and placed in frosty plastic Coca Cola cups.  For the boys, soda.  For me, a nice glass of wine.

After a few minutes, I suddenly saw something fly across my vision and in to my wine glass.  Victor and taken his straw paper, bundled it up and flung it in my drink with the skill of a professional basketball player.  Laughing, I fished out the wine-soaked wad of paper and placed it next to me on the table.

That is where it should have ended.  But this is me we are talking about.

Looking across and to the corner, I see my oldest is in the middle of a conversation with his friend.  His full cup of ice-cold coke was almost begging me to throw paper in to it.  I discretely picked up my wine-soaked wad of paper, aimed as best I could and flicked the paper skyward.

It was at that moment that slow motion began.  I see Victor’s eyes catch sight the paper as it gained height in front of him.  From there it slowly made its way across the table, over my son and directly on to the table located behind our booth.

Victor’s head turned towards me in stunned disbelief.  I covered my mouth with my hands, but the laughter that spilled forth was impossible to contain. Fear gripped me as I realized my goopy, wine-soaked paper might have just landed in the middle of someone’s food.

So I did what any responsible adult would do.  I slammed my head down on to the table and hid my bright red face, as if this might keep the previously unsuspecting restaurant patron from noticing who just flung trash in to his or her food.

I remember my body shaking with fear and laughter, duplicated by the innocent boys stuck in the guilty booth beside me.  “I can’t believe you did that!  I can’t believe YOU DID THAT!” was all I remember hearing.

My oldest told me a woman behind him lifted her head and shot angry eyes in my direction.  Within five minutes, she and a very large man got up and left the restaurant.  I caught a glimpse of her smiling at the server as they left.  Perhaps they were not going to their car for a gun after all.

It was not until my boys said the people cleared the parking lot that I could raise my red, tear-stained snotty face up from the now sticky table.  Teenage heads were shaking all around me.  At that moment, I was the child, and they were the adults.

Now, who wants to take me to dinner?!

Ziva, Mike WJ, Nicky and Mike, Mo, Nonamedufus, Bryan, Mariann, Malisa, Nora, LaughingMom, Tanya, Elizabeth A., 00dozo, Cheryl, Kristen, Pam, Meleah.

The subject?  I bet you can guess!

Today’s Challenge is “Lines.”  I began by taking pictures of the painted lines at my son’s track meet today.  But then I was thrilled beyond belief to capture this shot of him flying over a hurdle.  My guy is on the left, racing over the lines to ultimately get to THE finish line.

Taken with an old, failing Samsung Fascinate phone, which has a delay that is never the same after snapping the picture.  How I got this, I will never know!

I had no idea what I would use for an Outlier picture.  This has been the most difficult so far.  Hoping I would just “know”  the subject when I saw it, I went on an adventure today.  It was there that I found myself face to face with my Outlier.

A Facebook message to Meleah later… can I show it to you?  “Is it porn or art?”  I love what I came up with.  It doesn’t show a thing, yet it’s beautiful.  Just a side shot, from neck to waist.  Draped.  Did I mention the artistic filter?

AAAAAAND NOPE.  Never sent it.  Not posting it.  I wouldn’t mind sharing it.  But I chickened out posting it.

So my amazingly gorgeous nude deco lamp lady is taking my place.  And  I think she does it beautifully!

Let’s see if these brave souls in the April Photo Challenge are nude!

Ziva, Mike WJ, Nicky and Mike, Mo, Nonamedufus, Bryan, Mariann, Malisa, Nora, LaughingMom, Tanya, Elizabeth A., 00dozo, Cheryl, Kristen, Pam, Meleah.

My Toothbrush

DOH!

Wanna see THEIR toothbrushes in this almost over photo challenge?  Be sure to visit these amazingly talented folks!

 Ziva, Mike WJ, Nicky and Mike, Mo, Nonamedufus, Bryan, Mariann, Malisa, Nora, LaughingMom, Tanya, Elizabeth A., 00dozo, Cheryl, Kristen, Pam, Meleah.

I wish I could go back, but I cannot.  Instead, I will look at the future through my children’s eyes.  I will rediscover life as I watch them grow.  I will celebrate their joys and cry at their sorrows.  And one day, God willing, I will hold their own futures in my hands.

This is my cubicle wall at work.  Does it surprise you to see what it holds?