Fact or Fiction? « Shoot Me Now

Shoot Me NowFact or Fiction?

Fact or Fiction?
Published on Monday, February 25, 2013 by

Day 24 of the We Work for Cheese Blog Writing Challenge.  My greatest regret?  I have missed two or three days of seeing other’s posts… I simply fell asleep.  At the end of this I plan to go back!

My first car was a Datsun B210 Hatchback.  I couldn’t drive a stick at the time and rolled back a few feet on every hill I encountered.  Happily, I went from my little orange Datsun to a neighbor’s pink Mary Kay Cadillac.  Without ever selling a lipstick.  The company soon found out.

walking dead car

In college, I was on the Major Concerts Committee, bringing Heart and The Kinks to Hofstra University.  While I was there, I took belly dancing, although I never let anyone outside the class walls see me wiggle and jiggle.  I also caused a small fire in my dorm room when I wasn’t even there.

My first child was born in a Food Lion storage room, which is where the public bathrooms are located.  I apologized profusely as the EMT crew took me away.  To this day, I wonder which poor kid had to clean up after.  Imagine what he told his mother when he got home.

The grossest thing I have ever ingested is water mixed with phlegm-filled spit hacked up for about two hours in to my glass by my very sick son.  OK, I’ll tell you right now.  THIS one is fact.

My favorite movie is the original Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.  I actually have a secret crush on Gene Wilder.  And Bernadette Peters.  Kinda creepy since they are both redheads.

Fact… or fiction?

mom blog

  • Boy, you sure lead an interesting life! Mine pales by comparison.

  • Ron

    ” I couldn’t drive a stick at the time and rolled back a few feet on every hill I encountered. ”

    HA! Same here, Katherine! I drove my first stick (which was a VW) while I had a job delivering prescriptions for a drug store to people’s homes. OMG…I can’t tell you how many times that car rolled backwards. But what’s funny is that later on, I actually got a car that was a stick and LOVED it!

    I’m gonna take a guess that the last one is a fact.

    X

    • MalisaHargrove

      Ron, I used to drive a stick shift to deliver for a drug store too! I couldn’t not drive it to save my life. I would grind the gears and pop the gears all the time. Fun days. 🙂

      • Ron

        Hi Malisa!

        You too?!!? OMG…how ironic is that?!?! It was the scariest thing trying to learn to drive that car because I would put the emergency brake on so that I wouldn’t roll back, and then when I was sure I had the gears right, I would release the brake and………SHOOT forward like I was being shot out of a cannon – HA!

  • Tami Von Zalez

    I can understand the crush on Bernadette but Gene Wilder – girl, we need to talk!

    • HA HA HA you made me laugh outloud! When he gives Charlie the chocolate factory…. his eyes are SO BLUE!

  • I’m going to hope the belly dancing is fact because the mental image makes me laugh. 😀

  • Good stuff here. I can believe the car story considering my experiences with manual car. I only drive automatics!

  • mikewjattoomanymornings

    First car = fact
    Concerts committee = fact
    Food Lion birth = hmm, fact
    Grossest thing = really? You had to tell us?
    Crush on Gene and Bernadette = fact, and the Bernadette part of it is hot, especially if you could belly dance with her.

  • I am prepared to believe the first car story, the belly dancing story….I am pretending I didn’t read the phlegm as I am still slightly queasy at the thought. Don’t believe the Food Lion story and not sure about Gene. Gilda loved Gene and I thought she was cute. Bernadette???

  • I can believe all except the Food Lion delivery.

  • Hey Katherine! I’m entertained. Fact or fiction doesn’t worry me. Indigo x

  • MalisaHargrove

    For some reason, I am believing the birthing story. I believe it because of your concern about the kid having to clean up after you. That is just like a woman.

  • I don’t even want to know the truth… I prefer to believe them all. Except for the water/spit one. I refuse to believe that one. 🙂

  • Cadeaux

    Ha! My grossest thing I ever ingested tops yours by a longshot! I’ll not even post it.

    • OMG you HAVE to tell!

      • Cadeaux

        Okay. You talked me into it.

        We have a swimming pool – and one day we go outside and there’s this giant rat in it swimming around. Now that might sound icky as it is – but you have to realize we don’t run our pool in the winter and all the stuff from the trees comes down and then the algae and the bacteria and then it turns dark brown and is filled with goop that I swear is primordial.

        So…my son scoops the rat out and we put it in a reptile container (as we had a lot of snakes and lizards and such) so we can just dump it somewhere in the woods someplace because rats need to live, too. Yeah, we’re humane that way.

        So…we put the terrarium thingy in the pool room and wait until my then husband comes home so they can drop it off somewhere. So, in the like four or six hours it decided to go and have babies. Now, we can’t drop off a poor mother rat and her babies just off in the woods as that would be mean…so we have to go and feed the mother otherwise she will eat her babies. (I just realized this is now twice as long as your blog.) Well, to make it short-er…I go to open the top of the cage (it has a little plastic latch…to throw some paper towels in it to sop up the wetness of the gross pool water and she jumps around and I get a mouthful of gross pool water, rat blood (from her birthing), rat afterbirth (I’m sure), urine and rat feces. I thought I was going to die. I called everyone from the extension service place to the vet, to my doctor, to the CDC the next day to talk to the rabies guy. He told me that if we had lizards – handling them was worse than getting a mouthful of primordial afterbirth rat urine fecal nastiness. I still dispute this to this day. So, yes, I would gladly consume my child’s mucous any day than to relive this again. BTW, I made the nurse I told it to on the phone actually throw up.

  • Ok ok. Fact or fiction, I don’t know. But now we’re even because you made me ewwwwww out loud at the phlegm thing for making you ewwwww at my ‘snotcicle’ description.

  • KZ

    Okay, that water/phlegm one made me gag a bit. Also, how could you not have a crush on Bernadette Peters? My first introduction to her was during my childhood when I heard her vocals featured prominently in the “Animaniacs” cartoon series.

  • Mel

    Omg
    Too bizarre to be anything but tales from your lifetime. LOLOL

  • I am hysterical laughing right now at the “my 1st car was used in The Walking Dead” – ahahahahhahahahah!

  • I definitely didn’t need to know about that “drink.” Blech.

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