Enemas in Miami « Shoot Me Now

Shoot Me NowEnemas in Miami

Enemas in Miami
Published on Wednesday, March 21, 2012 by

Do you know about the lawsuit against Apple for its well-marketed app “Siri?”  You’ve probably seen the commercials:

“I gotta get a guitar.”

“How do I play a B Minor 9th?”

“Call me Rock God.”

Apparently they are being sued by an individual who says the commercial is misleading.

Now I don’t have an Iphone, but I do have to say this looks like a super cool app.  So with very little thought, I scanned the droid market to find something similar.

The closest droid app I could find to Siri is called Skyvi.  I downloaded it at the beach house and began to play with it while everyone was upstairs with me.

I started with some simple questions.  “Where is the nearest grocery store?”  The answer was correct – Food Lion and Harris Teeter, each within a mile or two.  But then I got bored and started to get a bit creative.  That was when the fun began.

Where can I get my dog put to sleep?  “I found Beach Realty and Construction.”  (OK People, I was ONLY JOKING!)

Where can I find some pot?  “I can’t find any pot within thirty miles.”  (Again, JOKING people!  My mother had to give me “the look” on this one… but she DID laugh along with everyone else.)

Is Oprah Winfrey gay?  “Sure.”  (I mean hey, why not?)

When is my mother’s birthday?  “At Time T”  (Huh?!)

Where is the President from?  “I found Moffatt & Nichol 5.2 miles away from you.”  (Moffatt.  Discuss.)

How do you eat a squirrel?  “I found Evelyn’s Wildlife Refuge 7.1 miles away from you.”  (Sounds like Evelyn has more than animal rescue on her plate.)

Where can I get an enema?  “I couldn’t find any enema’s within thirty miles. Try to say a city.  Try the city of Miami.”

A bummer for those of us in Virginia.

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  • Bwahahahaha.  I like that app a lot.  What great fun and after a couple of cocktails the questions would get even crazier.

    Have a terrific day.  🙂

  • LOL! No enemas in Virginia? Bummer, indeed!

  • I love an app that screws with your head. At least it wasn’t one of those yapping apps. Maybe you should try Yelp. They probably have some good enema reviews. Then again, there probably aren’t any good enema reviews.

  • Miami?!?!? Who needs Siri when you have … Moffatt. 🙂

  • Ron

    Well, since I don’ t own a cell phone (yeah, don’t laugh) I have not heard of this particular app., but it sounds intriguing.

    LOVED your questions, Katherine!

    “Where can I find some pot?  “I can’t find any pot within thirty miles.”  (Again, JOKING people!  My mother had to give me “the look” on this one… but she DID laugh along with everyone else.)”

    Bwhahhahahahahahahaha! HILARIOUS!

    Yes, and I used to live in Florida, so I can totally vouch that Miami has a TON of enemas for sale!!!!


    Have a faaaaaaaabulous weekend, my friend!


  • My husband used that app for a while but it got annoying.  Apparently it doesn’t work as well as Siri.  I’m not sure I want my phone to have personality.  Isn’t it’s job to do what it’s told?

  • That app is hilarious!

    I do have an iPhone and I love my Siri. I ask her crazy questions all the time.

    Moffatt? AHAHHAhahhahHHHAhahhahHAHahha

  • Ginger

    How do you eat a squirrel? nice one! Haha.
    Siri is usually hilarious though it’s not funny when he mispronounces my name. He needs cultural diversity training.

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