How Long Does It Take? « Shoot Me Now

Shoot Me NowHow Long Does It Take?

How Long Does It Take?
Published on Sunday, September 11, 2011 by

Three days.  It takes three whole days for jewelry to pass through a Dalmatian’s digestive tract.  And I know this how, you ask?

Because I rock as a Mom.  Indeed, I allowed my daughter to wear my pearls to school.  It was her first pair after the piercing studs.  My Dad gave them to me.  Yes, they are precious.  But so is my daughter.  And she wanted to wear them.  BAD.

After school, she took the little baggy out of my jewelry box that contains my most cherished pieces of jewelry.  Each piece was from my father, never to be replaced.  He loved to give my mother and I beautiful things on special occasions, knowing we would not get them for ourselves.  My daughter placed the pearls in the bag and set them down.

Enter:  THE DOG

I knew none of this.  All I heard was, “MOM!  Emma has something in her mouth! GET IT!”  With my dog being a stupid goat, I am used to this almost daily routine.  I mumbled, “Well just give her some kind of treat to get the thing out of her mouth.”

Enter:  MY SON AND A CUPCAKE

“Emmaaaaa!  You WANT this cupcake, don’t you?  Look at the cupcakkkeeeeee….!”  But Emma was quicker than my son.  In one gulp, the cupcake and the object in question were gone.

What I didn’t notice was my daughter running out of my room and in to hers.  She stayed there for about thirty minutes, finally reappearing with tears in her eyes.  “Mom?  Mom?  You are going to KILL ME!”  And out came the story.

What could I do?  She thought I was going to kill her.  Over earrings.  “Honey, you have tortured yourself more than anything I could do!  Just let it go!  It is just stuff.  And….. It will ALL COME OUT IN THE END.”  I finally got her laughing  with plenty of poop jokes before sending her to bed.

Enter:  THE WATCH

Following this incident, I walked with the dog every time she went outside.  Poop Patrol.  There is nothing pretty about it.  Especially in the morning before my cup of coffee.  What could be better than starting the day throwing up a little bit in your mouth?  Look at it this way… everything will go up from there.

I began to receive phone calls daily.  Is it out yet?  Did you get it?  No, not yet.  But you will be the first to know.

And on the third day?  Pure gold.  Literally.

Enter:  DIGESTED JEWELRY

(If you are one of those who wants to actually see the jewelry immediately out of the dog, click here.  If you want to see the jewelry pre-cleaning so you can compare it with the after-shot, click here.  If you do not care to see these, move along… quickly.  And if you are one of those people who clicks, I am dying to know who you are.  Because frankly, I am the one who took them.  And I need to know I am not the only off-balance person in this big, scary world.)

Sundown.  Mosquitoes attacking my back, ankles, face and neck.  Ziplock baggies on either hand.  Nose closed, with my hands buried in a pile of…. well, you can guess.

I believe everything is present and accounted for, if not shinier than before.  Except for my pearls.  My beautiful pearls.  Now smaller, misshapen and well, brown.

digested jewelry

ruined pearls

YOU JUST CAN’T MAKE THIS STUFF UP.  Indeed, I present to you once again:  My Life. Don’t be too jealous.

mom blog

  • Ktdietrich

    HAHA!!  I totally clicked the links to see the pics in the poop and before cleaning!!  I thought it was hilarious!! 🙂

    • LOL you should have SEEN me… hunched over, slapping mosquitoes off of me, digging… I’m sure the neighbors were going, “Ummm…. there she goes aGAIN!” I figured after three days of hard work, I needed to take a picture of my accomplishments!!!! THANK YOU for making me feel like I am not the only crazy one LOL!

  • Emmy

    All right I caved- I saw the picture-and am now just pretending it was a pile of mud they were in so I don’t gag too much. Darn dog!

  • Tina

    Oh, no!   Glad you were able to save your jewelry.  I feel bad for all of you who had to inspect several times a day and your little girl, how hard it must have been for her to tell you.  I didn’t look at the before pic, I have a very sensitive stomach.  I was surprised that it took 3 days!  Thought it would have been 24 hours.  That tells you how much I know about these sort of things!

  • Nope. Not gonna click over. Really don’t need to gag first thing in the morning 🙂

    I’m glad you got your jewelry back. Your daughter must be SO relieved!!

  • Yeah, I looked.  Those before pics aren’t that bad.  Hey, I’ve inspected cat throw-up to try and figure out what made the cat throw up in the first place.  Oftentimes with Rosie it’s a dried leaf or grass.  He IS an inside cat, but sometimes leaves get tracked in and he gets to it before we do.  He LOVES crunchy leaves – but they DON’T love him, and he never learns.  Apparently that all-consuming desire to eat things not good for them is not limited to cats.

  • OH MAN! What an experience. My experiences tend to contain high drama and loss as well. 🙁 I am one of those unbalanced saps that couldn’t help but click on the picture. As many experiences that make me gag (like this one) and wince (like this one) I’m really all about the experience. I’m sad for you about your pearls. One day your great grand-daughter will be telling her daughter the story about the brown pearls.

  • OMG – I can sooooo relate.  My daughter loves to take my diamond rings off but they are way to big.  I only let her wear them while she is standing near me.  One day she put one on, it slipped to the floor and our piggy of a dog scarfed it up (thought laila was throwing him a treat) – I got to do poop patrol and dig through the doggy dung – eeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww – I still have nightmares – and I still can’t wear that ring without feeling like I’m sporting poo. JUST GROSS. Thank you for giving me a good morning laugh.

  • Don’t take this the wrong way, but I could have gone my whole life not knowing how long it took for jewelry to pass through a dalmatian.  I am glad you got everything back but I just ate so I can’t click to see the before photos.

  • Ahahahahah! AJAHAHHAHAHAHHA! Ahahahahhaha!

    OMG!

    I’m sorry. I am CRYING laughing at this.

    Crying. Laughing.

    I don’t have a dog, so I have never been through anything like this. But holy hilarious.

    Sorry your pearls are forever altered, though!

  • Those pearls might become the new thing – sepia pearls. Hahaha. My dog used to eat things like steel wool and coins but never jewels. You must have been beside yourself waiting for them to come out again. Totally hilarious!

  • HA HA HA HA! I can laugh because I had a rottweiler who literally ate EVERYTHING! I was just thinking tonight that I miss her, but not her constant eating of things that are precious.  Glad you got you jewelry back!

  • Debra Robertson

    Ew.  I’ll confess, I clicked over.  I’m a nurse and not much grosses me out.  But yeah, I don’t need to see that again.  I’m glad you got your stuff back and even more glad that your dog didn’t get an intestinal perforation or blockage, which would have been expensive.  We used to have a big Doberman who would eat anything, including a large banana still in its peel, once…

  • Superb posts. I enjoyed reading your blow

  • Take good care of your jewelries especially when it is expensive and valuable given by someone special.

  • If my dog swallowed my wife’s ring.. OH GOD! I would be in the dog house until it came out the other end!!!!

    • Well, I would hope only if you FED it to the dog LOL! I was in the dog house, so to speak, until it came out…. what a crazy thing to happen – my dog is a goat!

  • Now girl!  Those pearls are fine.  Just take them in and have them polished.  As an idea, why don’t you get some of that pop bead jewelery.  It really does come out fine and you can toss it without a second thought.  My dog Honey swallowed a whole lemon that she was using as a ball.  She’s still here but smells delightfully like citrus most of the time.  

  • Poor dog, I hope the jevelery items didn’t hurt it when they were inside him.

  • avatar3d

    How can you have such incredible stories? They are amazing!”Hopefully nothing happened with your dalmatian.

  • Emilie

    Hi, I found this post on Google. My dog just ate my purity ring. He’s swallowed bad stuff before (socks, headbands, ponytail holders), but we’ve never tried getting anything back. I really want this ring back. When it…turns up, uhhhh what did you use to clean it? I would adore an answer within the next day or two (I wear the ring every day, and I already feel naked without it). Thanks…

  • Oye vay! and I thought emeralds from your inner ear was interesting.

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