Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? « Shoot Me Now

Shoot Me NowWhy Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
Published on Monday, December 9, 2013 by

To get away from Katherine!

It wasn’t even two weeks ago when I watched Andrew Zimmern eat and rave about chicken feet.  All I remember was the word gelatinous, which doesn’t particularly appeal to me.  Yet his full description of this chicken foot experience was intriguing, to say the least.

So when I passed a package of chicken feet at Food Lion, I stopped short and stared.  Three bucks.  Clean.  Not near the expiration date.  Why not?  After all, my oldest son will eat ANYTHING.  I figured when he saw me walk in the door with chicken feet I would make his day.  Certainly worth the three bucks, don’t you think?

chicken paws

I was extremely disappointed when I found my son wasn’t home when I arrived.  Yet my plans remained the same.  Research several recipes and pick the easiest and tastiest sounding one of the bunch.  That is, AFTER I made a delicious pot of my standard chicken and dumplings for the rest of the family.

To prepare spicy Asian chicken feet, you first have to cut the claws off the feet.  This was the hardest part for me.  Picking up the feet and clipping the nails was like holding a baby’s finger and cutting off the end.  I have no better way to describe it.  Squint, clip.  Squint, clip.

baby toenails

Once this was complete, I coated the feet in a bit of sugar to help them brown.  Then in to the oil they went.

All of the recipes warned that chicken feet will splatter.  Use a tall pot and be sure to cover it with something if things get bad.  Sure enough, there was a good bit of splattering.  But once they were in for a while everything settled down.  OR SO I THOUGHT.

Just about the time when I was going to take the feet out, I heard an explosion.  Turning around, I SAW the second.  Chicken feet don’t splatter in oil.  They volcanically explode in oil.

feet exploding

What I saw was a ginourmous eruption of hot oil exploding and reaching the ceiling.  I flew to the cabinet, grabbed a pizza pan and flung it over the dutch oven.

Once the oil cooled and the chicken feet were soaking in the ice water, I took in the aftermath of the frying.  The kitchen floor was covered in oil.  The ceiling was covered in oil.  A pool of oil covered the entire stove top.  Even the dog water bowls contained full oil slicks. I believe Dawn detergent wants to use my puppies in the next oil slick commercial.

“Andrew Zimmern, I hope you are right about these damn chicken feet!”

Spicy Chicken Feet

Finally, the boys, their neighbor friend, my daughter and I circled around the finished pan of spicy Asian chicken feet and pondered.  To the boys’ friend, “Are you gonna try one?”  “No thank you.  I’m good.”  “Are you sure?”  “Yea… really.  It’s ok.”  And then he was OUT THE DOOR.

My daughter?  “Nope.”  My oldest?  DUH!  He took half of them!  That left my other son and me.  Gingerly we each picked up a paw and nibbled.  Up one toe.  Down the other.  I looked at him and laughed.  We were both making the same face.  Kind of, “I want to like this but I keep looking at it and the whole thing is just so cartilage-ee.”

A good portion of one each was quite sufficient for us.  Andrew… I tried them.  Be proud.  I tried!

In summary?  Only fry chicken feet outside in a turkey fryer.  If it were left to me, I would cook ‘em up like fried chicken and leave them fried rather than soak them in ice water.  Then I would serve them with bowls of blue cheese and ranch dressings.  And beer.  Don’t forget plenty of ice cold beer.

THEN chicken feet would be Americanized enough for this ginger to really enjoy.  I think.

eat your eggs

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