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Shoot Me Now

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Ten Things I Never Thought Would Come Out Of My Mouth
Published on Monday, June 29, 2009 by When you have children, everything changes.  Including the way you speak.  Just before church this weekend I found myself saying, "Yes, I know you don't want to go to church, but Jesus didn't want to go on the cross either, did he!" There are some mighty strange things that have come out of my mouth since I've had children.  Here are a choice few - I have a priv...
I am Mom, Push My Buttons!
Published on Thursday, April 30, 2009 by My 13 year old son has been rehearsing for the school play for four months.  He got the lead male role, and I have been counting the days until his big performance.  Earlier this week, my oldest got sick.  He is still horizontal on the couch, and is destined for a doctor visit later today.  He is sick as a dog.  A big dog!  (I just loving pulling old expressions...
Lights in the Sky and an Explosion. Yowsa!
Published on Monday, March 30, 2009 by Everywhere I have gone today, I've heard, "Did you hear the noise last night? What did you see?!"  It is definitely the buzz about town!  But what is everyone talking about?  We don't know, literally.  Somewhere between 9:30 and 10 last night, it happened. People across Hampton Roads, and actually from Maryland to NC, saw a low flying ball of light streak acros...
It’s a Man’s World!
Published on Saturday, February 28, 2009 by   I have been browsing through a 1962 book of household hints, and realized quickly that it is a man's world.  Or at least it used to be.  If you are a man, you will thoroughly enjoy these book quotes.  If you are a woman, well....  Hubby has uses for the vacuum cleaner too... the car, the workshop, etc. Men are often ashamed of women who use no lips...
Flippin’ Girl Scout Cookies!
Published on Monday, February 23, 2009 by No, not tossing cookies... FLIPPING cookies!  I know, I know... just read on.  We have a "new guy" at work who just turned 21 last week.  He is the baby of us all, lovingly nicknamed "Runt" by one of my co-workers.  As you probably know, it is Girl Scout Cookie time, so I brought my daughter's form in to work.  People were asking for it, honest!  So Runt g...
Top Ten Bad Names for Children
Published on Wednesday, January 28, 2009 by My cousin is a nurse who lives in a normal midwestern town.  She sees children's names often.  And her stories of those children's names never cease to amaze me.  So here is my top ten list of the worst names people have named their children: 10. Babie Boi.  How can this child ever join the football team? 9. I.V.  This came from a mother having medications ...
I am a Magnet for Gross
Published on Saturday, January 17, 2009 by Tonight my daughter asked for a bowl of ice cream and I was happy to oblige.  I don’t eat sweets during the week, but on the weekends I allow myself a little treat.  As I was scooping it for her, I took a snitch or two on the side.  Was that a hair?  No, couldn’t be.   But then as I raised the creamy, ever-so-wonderful treat to my lips, I felt the tou...
Shopping with Children and Rats
Published on Tuesday, January 13, 2009 by I have figured out a wonderful way to keep children occupied while grocery shopping.  Are you ready for this one?  A week ago I was alone in a local grocery store and heard a man call out a surprised expletive (let's just say it rhymed with "oh spit!") while pointing in my general direction.  I turned just in time to see a rat piddle paddle across the floor (tha...
How to Make Snow
Published on Saturday, January 10, 2009 by Why have so many of us adults forgotten to believe?  Last night, my soon to be eight year old told me how to make it snow.  Yes, she learned in school how to make it snow.  And she believed.  That is the beauty of children.  Their innocence, paired with their ability to be open to new ideas and concepts.  Somehow the word got out yesterday that there is a...
Our Greatest Fear: Chuck E Cheese!
Published on Sunday, January 4, 2009 by Yesterday something I have been avoiding for about 8 years finally crossed my path.  It was inevitable once I gave birth to my third child.  It had to be.  And it came.  I had to enter the doors of.... <hold your breath> Chuck E Cheese.  The last time I was in there, my first (and only, at the time) child was having a blast. (I, on the other hand, was cr...
Neighbor Goes Squirrely
Published on Thursday, October 2, 2008 by I live in a well established neighborhood that is a nice mix of both young couples and elderly folks.  Some of these older residents have been there forever.  Most are active, friendly and look out for everyone else.  But there are some that have nothing better to do than worry about their neighbors are up to.   Fortunately, our next door neighbor is one of the ...
Funny Iphone Ringtone with the Wrong Lyrics!
Published on Wednesday, February 13, 2008 by My brother recently got an Iphone, and was discussing which ring tone he would have for each daughter. His youngest, 9, said there was a song she had heard that was "pretty cool" and that she would like to have it as her ring tone. My niece then began to describe the song. "It is about some guy who drinks too much on Fridays and wants to stop. I kind of liked it. By t...
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