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Shoot Me Now

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How Long Does It Take?
Published on Sunday, September 11, 2011 by Three days.  It takes three whole days for jewelry to pass through a Dalmatian’s digestive tract.  And I know this how, you ask? Because I rock as a Mom.  Indeed, I allowed my daughter to wear my pearls to school.  It was her first pair after the piercing studs.  My Dad gave them to me.  Yes, they are precious.  But so is my daughter.  And she wanted to wea...
Blogger’s Got A Gun
Published on Sunday, August 14, 2011 by “Mom, I finally figured out what I want for my birthday.  I want a gun.” Have you heard these words at any time in your life?  Because if you have not, I can tell you, they will stop you in your tracks.  At least they did me. My son has received extensive training in firearm safety.  He placed second in an NRA competition.  He is level headed, respo...
There Is A ____ In My Food!
Published on Monday, June 6, 2011 by I’ve never really been a puzzle person, mostly because I just don’t have the time.  But at the beach house, time is a little slower and life allows for just a bit more.  So in April we broke out a puzzle and started to work on it as a team each weekend. On a side note, I will tell you that I’ve learned a bit about my amazing, poised and generous mother duri...
And The Third Thing To Bite Me Was?
Published on Saturday, August 14, 2010 by In celebration of my oldest son's birthday, we went to Ocean Breeze Water Park for a fun day of water slides and stairs.  Up the stairs, down the slide.  Up the stairs, down the slide.  My nine year old was tied to my hip.  Do you know just how many times a nine year old can fly up a hill of stairs?  Proudly, I matched her every step. My middle son was true ...
My Shoes Are A Magnet To…
Published on Wednesday, August 11, 2010 by As of this writing, only eight people have entered the $100 Visa Gift Card giveaway on Agoosa!  Great chances to win! Finish that sentence.  If you know me and you know my luck, I would assume your answer is POOP.  And you are correct.  But the story has a twist... For the last two months, no matter what tennies I have on, my feet seem to be an irresistabl...
A Party In My Bathing Suit!
Published on Tuesday, July 27, 2010 by You may remember the recent party in my mouth?  Well hold on to your knickers because this past weekend I had a new party.  A party in my bathing suit.  And wait until you hear who was there.  IN there.  My pants.  Partying. As you know, most summer weekends find me and the kids in Corolla at my mom’s beach house.  I am happiest floating in the warm salt w...
A Party In My Mouth
Published on Tuesday, July 13, 2010 by My neighborhood is surrounded by water.  We often see raccoon, cicadas, voles, snakes and even the dreaded palmetto bug. Alright, let’s be honest.  Palmetto bug is simply a fancy name for a Giant American Freaking Cockroach.  They live near the water, they freaking FLY and when it gets really rainy we occasionally find one inside. Let me set the stage.  La...
The Demented Tooth Fairy
Published on Tuesday, February 16, 2010 by When I was little, the Tooth Fairy left a quarter under my pillow for each tooth.  And I was happy.  My daughter?  She is not driven by money.  She is touched by things given from the heart.   This is the very reason for the note I found next to her bed this weekend, after she had five teeth pulled out. Now keep in mind, when I am home, I am never alone.  El...
Going Commando
Published on Thursday, January 28, 2010 by This is my hallway.  The dirty laundry has taken hold of my house.  It is breeding.  It is growing in strength and numbers.  And pretty soon, it is going to stink.  For alas, my washing machine is broken, as is my bank account.  And you know what?  Dirty laundry can SMELL fear. But I have a plan.  I am going to put dark makeup under my eyes, throw on some...
What’s In YOUR Couch!?
Published on Tuesday, September 22, 2009 by Last week I had two boys down sick, rotating halfway through the week.  Sunday my daughter began to whine and complain.  At first I chalked it up to her red hair. (Yes, I SAID IT!)  But then she mentioned her throat. Ughhhh here we go again. She had a temperature for two days.  I stayed home with her Monday playing nurse Mommy.  You never want them sick, but i...
Yes, Sir. Yes, Mam. Low Low Low Low Lowwww!
Published on Friday, July 24, 2009 by Yesterday my co-worker received a pre-op phone call from the hospital.  He has five monster kidney stones and is having them blasted - well, a few hours ago now, actually!  But yesterday, the order of the day was to answer at least thirty questions over the phone from the hospital interviewer.  My friend's phone volume is set to loud, so I was able to hear the v...
I Am On Steroids, Hear Me ROAR!
Published on Saturday, July 18, 2009 by I am on an antibiotic for 21 days and am on steroids as well.  I was great on vacation in Corolla - but when I came back to my hometown - allergy capital of the Universe, I immediately had a sinus infection.  A BAD one.  I am finally settling down for the night (1 a.m.!?) and typed a bunch of posts on my facebook page.  Then I realized, "Hey, this is great blog...
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