My boss brought a trash bag full of raw, dried peanuts to work.  “I know!  I’ll make homemade peanut butter!”  One googled recipe and 30 minutes later, I soon found myself with a baking pan full of homemade roasted peanuts.

Alton Brown’s homemade peanut butter recipe says preparation time is only five minutes.  Oh really?!

Once the peanuts were cooled, my son and I began to shell.  And shell.  And shell.  This is what the peanuts looked like after thirty minutes of shelling:

At this point, my son noted, “I feel like one of those ladies in the shelling factory on Willy Wonka!”  Indeed.  Shelling peanuts takes a lot of time and rips your skin apart.  And not ONE PEANUT SHELL contained a golden freaking ticket.

Forty five minutes later, we were done.  If I never see another peanut again I will be happy.

Would you believe all that work only produced this?!

When one begins a recipe, one should be sure one has all the ingredients on hand.  THIS one didn’t have peanut oil.  OR vegetable oil.  Frantically looking around the kitchen, I found a jar of hot pepper oil I made a month ago.  It could work, right?

Into the Ninja Master Prep went peanuts, honey and hot pepper oil.  Getting it all to blend took more than five minutes alone.  Once the peanut butter was done, I determined it needed more oil.  The texture was far more dry than creamy.  But did I want those extra calories?  Nahhh.  I chose to go dryer with less fat.

The taste test?  Freshly roasted peanuts.  Honey.  A touch of hot pepper oil.  It took FAR too much time.  It’s dry and I don’t want to fix it by adding more oil.  It only made a sandwich sized container of homemade peanut butter.  But…

IZZZZZ GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

Now.  About those boiling peanuts in the kitchen that I’m attempting to ignore.

Times are tough here, as they are for everyone.  If I tighten my belt anymore, my button is going to fly off and shoot someone’s eye out!  Pretty soon, eyes will be shot out all over the country.

In looking at where the money goes, I see that quite a lot of it is spent on groceries.  Currently I shop at my local Bottom Dollar, going to Food Lion only for the meat and deli items.  My struggle is trying to find inexpensive meals I can prepare that people will actually eat.

This weekend my mother took me to dinner for Mother’s Day and we had an amazing dish that would cost very little to prepare.  Al dente Orecchiette (pasta  that looks like “little ears”) is mixed with crumbled sausage, chicken broth, broccoli, garlic, salt, pepper and I believe white wine.  As simple as this sounds, the flavor was simply out of this world.  Ground chicken or turkey can be substituted for the sausage if desired.

Now it’s time to pick your brain.  I have completely run out of ideas for inexpensive meals that taste good.  What do you cook when you are on a budget?

I don’t have cable, so during the week my mother will tape a favorite show or two for us to watch on the weekends.  These usually include anything Anthony Bourdain, Anne Burrell and of course, Jamie Oliver.

I’ve salivated over many Jamie Oliver shows, mindlessly repeating NOM NOM NOM as I do my best impression of Homer Simpson eying a do-nut.  Healthy, fresh and often outdoor cooking – what could be better.

And charming?  Jamie Oliver has it all.  British charm, a boyish cuteness and an obvious devotion to his wife and children.  This guy is gold.  But after watching an hour long sneak peek of Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution, I’ve decided the man has jumped past gold and reached pure platinum.

In Food Revolution, Jamie leaves his family for a three month long stay in the most unhealthy city in the United States.  There, he begins his revolution to completely change school meals and to teach residents how to cook healthy and delicious food.  And he is doing it FOR FREE.

Imagine walking down the street to Jamie’s Kitchen, only to learn from THE MASTER.  A few ingredients here, several spices there (while trying not to peek at his butt) and voila – instant cooking lesson from a Naked Chef.  Do these people have any idea who he is and what he is sacrificing to help them?

Watching Jamie Oliver try to work around the USDA will be quite a thing to see.  But even better?  Jamie Oliver working around the lunch ladies, who are none too happy to have him there!

The Sneak Peek introduces a family whose mother uses the deep fryer daily for almost every meal.  Jamie spends a day with her and cooks everything she normally does, meal after meal after meal.  He then throws all of the food on to the table, which soon becomes a mountain of greasy fried golden artery-clogging death.  The previously giggling mother soon breaks down, stating, “I  am killing my children!”  Jamie is not one to lie.  “Yes, you are.  But not anymore.”

Jamie is accused of doing all this for television.  During the show, he tears up, explaining his ideas for change are truly from his heart.  And I believe him.

Watching this show, I smugly thought to myself, “How can you possibly feed your children that JUNK!”  But that one finger pointing away revealed four others pointing back at me.  What goes in my children’s lunches?  A sandwich on honey wheat bread – not so bad.  But what about the “filler” I throw in there?  Granola bars.  Potato chips for one.  Little Debbie for another.  All processed crap.

So I’ve made a decision.  I am going to adopt Jamie Oliver.  He’s happily married, making the whole cougar thing ridiculous.  I know what you are saying.  “Katherine, you are too old to be a grandmother!”  Yea, I know.  But hey, this is Jamie Oliver!

I figure he can help me find healthy foods I can tolerate with my Gastroparesis.  He can help me prepare healthy school lunches that my children will actually consume.  He can teach me to prepare pork loin that falls apart in your mouth.  And I’ll babysit for him so he and his wife can have a night on the town.  This requires me moving to England.  As long as my mom and kids can come… and as long as I can bring my warm Corolla beach, then I’m in.

But seriously?  I’m on board and have signed his Food Revolution petition.  Won’t you sign too?

And while you are at it – healthy school lunch ideas. Comments. Below. HINT!

After reading an article about this new frozen yogurt shop, my daughter and I decided to give it a go.  Two nights in a row.  With my paralyzed stomach, a bit of probiotics couldn’t hurt, could it?  Thankfully, no.

Customers arrive and walk directly to the back where there are cups for yogurt and tiny tasting cups and spoons.  Not sure what you want?  Then have a taste! Or two or three, for that matter.  Flavors range from non-tart flavors such as chocolate, peanut butter and peach to my favorite, the tart vanilla.  This is the way frozen yogurt used to taste.  Tangy, tart, sweet and refreshing.  The added bonus?  Live yogurt cultures, of course!

But I have to say, the sign on the wall describing colon health was a bit disturbing, seeing that it is a restaurant and all.  But I digress.

Once you have served yourself a bowl of goodness, step this way to the topping bar, a true embarrassment of riches.  My daughter chose chocolate yogurt and added brownies and chocolate pieces.  For me, tart vanilla yogurt, freshly cut strawberries, mango and kiwi. Then for a bit of fun, some small little white puffs they call “non sweet rice puffs.”  They have no flavor and have the texture of a marshmallow.  Kinda fun!

Then if you are lucky, the rocking chairs will be open outside of the store.  Both nights we rocked together, watching a thunderstorm while we enjoyed a happy conversation and plenty of refreshing healthy yogurt.

And to make the night even better, I ran across a strange sign on a glass door.  As I told my Mom, “I have to take a picture.  After all, everything is good for a blog!”

Two observances.  One, I know you can enter and exit a door.  But what else might they be referring too?  And second, who or what is Hoy?  In Spanish, Hoy means TODAY.  In English, it is a flat-bottom boat.    So perhaps today you cannot steer a flat-bottom boat through the door? I like to think that you are supposed to read the sign and loudly yell, “HOY!” as if to say, “SO THERE!” in made-up Japanese.

Finally, the icing on the proverbial yogurt cake.  My daughter and I were laughing it up on the way home.  For a moment there was silence, and then I heard a little voice behind me say, “Mom, I love us.”

How profound.  How amazing.  How complete.

Pho ’79 serves a Vietnamese style iced coffee called ca phe sua da.  The coffee is brewed at your table.  It is often a dark French roast with chicory.  Sweetened condensed milk is placed in the coffee mug underneath – about ¼ milk to the amount of coffee you are brewing.  As the coffee brews into the cup, it warms the sweetened condensed milk below which makes it “stirable.”  

Once brewed, I like to mix the coffee with the milk before pouring.  However it is “more pleasing to the eye” to just throw it all in your glass full of ice, watching the sweetened condensed milk gently glide from mug to glass, swirling in the deep, rich and dark chicory flavored coffee….  Just a minute, I need to take a breath. 

Notice the man’s hand in the picture?  No, silly, that is not mine.  It is my co-worker’s hand.  My co-worker who has banned me from pouring my own iced coffee.  Let’s just say there was a pouring incident involving an over-throw.  But that is another story. 

Now, behold – ca phe sua da- or Vietnamese coffee with ice.

The recipe for this chocolate chip coffee mug cake is as follows:

In a mug, mix 4 tablespoons flour, 4 tablespoons sugar, 2 tablespoons cocoa and 1 egg.  Stir in 3 tablespoons milk, 3 tablespoons oil and 3 tablespoons of chocolate chips.  Add a tiny splash of vanilla extract. 

Put mug on a dish and place it in the microwave. Cook on high (1000 watts) for three minutes.  Let cool.  You can eat the cake right out of the mug, or place the coffee mug cake on a plate and slice.

Now, for the test:

How to Make Chocolate Cake in a Coffee Mug from shootmenowblog on Vimeo.

Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter.  Yes, it is good enough to be written with Capital Letters.

This is a natural peanut butter, with no high fructose corn syrup.  That’s a plus in my book.  Then you add deep, dark gooey chocolate, and it becomes simply heady. 

Do you see this picture below?  That was only a day after the innocent purchase.  Yes, in one and a half days, I ate an entire jar of peanut butter.  And all of my workouts could never begin to take away the damage.

But it is good.  Oh so good.  Peanut Butter & Co. makes other flavors too.  From hot pepper to white chocolate to maple syrup.  And the fluffer nutter? Different flavors for different tastes.  I would be in trouble if I worked there.

I have found this brand at both Harris Teeter and Kroger, but I understand Walmart sells it as well.  I highly recommend this peanut butter.  HIGHLY.

I have made a rule for myself.  I am not allowed to buy another jar of Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter.  Not until Lent is over.  And then I get one jar.  Only one.  And a spoon.  From there, I plan to go into a corner, crouch down like Smeagol and go to town. My precioussssssss!

Last weekend I found myself near a Harris Teeter with an hour on my hands before having to pick up my daughter.  In search of White Chocolate Peanut butter (yet to be found!), I began my trek through this eclectic grocery store.  That is where I found the cherimoya. 

A cherimoya has green skin that starts to turn gray as it ripens. This South American tropical fruit almost resembles a smooth pinecone.  Last night we cut it open, revealing a pretty soft white pulp.  Mixed throughout the white flesh were black seeds, about the size of small pumpkin seeds but longer. 

After tasting the cherimoya, we got a thumbs up and a thumbs down.  Thumbs down was from my mother.  “Much too sweet with a strange flavor.”  I gave the tropical fruit a thumbs up, but I don’t think I would eat it often.  A cherimoya is incredibly sweet, but with an almost acidic kind of feel to it.  Imagine eating the sweetest fruit you have ever had, and tasting accents of vanilla with the tang you feel from fresh yogurt. 

So on your next shopping trip, check out the cherimoyas – they are worth a taste!

A year ago I was on the road and saw a restaurant named, “Pho ’79.”  Pho!  That is THE soup Tony eats!  So I moved my bravery switch up a notch and stopped in.  And thank goodness I did. 

Pho is a Vietnamese noodle soup that arrives at your table with a plate of fresh Thai basil, bean sprouts, lime and jalapenos.  People often add Sriracha  Hot Chili Sauce (aka Rooster Sauce) and Hoisin sauce as well.  In my favorite restaurant, you can get different types of thinly sliced meat in the soup, that cooks as it sits in the hot broth.  And for the brave at heart, there is also bible tripe (stomach) and soft tendon.   I tried the tripe from my brother’s bowl – and it honestly wasn’t bad.  Personally, I enjoy the soft tendon – which for me (food weenie) is huge. 

Strolling through an Oriental market I discovered pure gold in a bag – a mix of Pho spices!  Nearby was a bag of Pho rice noodles.  My mind began to turn.  “You know, I could MAKE this stuff at home!” 

After searching the internet, I found that making Pho is an art.  Many people cook all day, adding everything from shrimp to beef and more.  But there were indeed home recipes, so I gave it a shot.  And what a shot it was – bull’s-eye! 

My recipe is against everything true Pho makers believe in, I’m sure.  But for people like me, it honestly does come close.  The secret?  That $1.50 pack of pre-mixed Pho spices.  Also, purchase the fresh frozen noodles.  And finally, what we lovingly call Rooster Sauce. 

Homemade Pho – The Easy Way 

I begin my pho noodle soup with either homemade chicken broth or a mix of store-bought chicken broth (or stock) and beef broth.  I simply pour as much as I think everyone will eat into a pot, and then a bit more.  Then I throw in some thinly sliced onions.  Some enjoy chopped green onions in the broth too. The package of Pho spices contains much more than you need for one pot.  I cut mine into thirds and place the spices in the brewing bag that comes with the pack.  (Once I purchased a packet of spices that didn’t include the bag – so I made one with a twist tie and cloth!) 

Now for the stewing meat.  I find what we call “bone meat” in our local grocery store.  It is simply beef connected to large bones that contain marrow.  This is almost the cheapest meat you can get, and it makes the best soup on the block.  If you can’t find the kind with the marrow, try to find any type of beef that includes a bone.  Our Pho restaurant uses brisket and flank.  Add this to the pot.  Sometimes I will throw in a few chicken thighs for added flavoring.  I think using the combination of both beef and chicken makes the richest broth – I highly recommend it. 

Believe it or not, you are pretty much done.  I let the soup cook all day (or at least a few hours) with the spices.  However, my friend at the Pho restaurant said they only put the spices in at the last minute – a trade secret!  My method works for home cooking because I don’t use the full bag of spices. 

When you are ready to eat, take out the beef and the chicken thighs. 

The Pho noodles only take a few minutes to cook.  If you can find them, purchase the fresh noodles found in the freezer section.  Read the directions AND DO NOT OVER COOK THEM.  If you do, not that I’ve EVER over-cooked my Pho noodles, they will turn into a big gummy ball.  The dried noodles work fine, but I was told “fresh” is the key – so try the frozen kind first.

Now for the meat.  I don’t have a butcher nearby, so I have to settle for steak types of beef.  I look for something that appears tender, freeze it a bit and then cut it as thinly as I can.  Again, the meat cooks in the bowl, so let your family place their own slices of meat in their bowls.   My daughter prefers chicken, so I give her the meat from the chicken thighs to put in her Pho. 

Arrange Thai basil (you can find this in your Oriental mart – but if you don’t have any, use regular basil), sliced jalapenos, bean sprouts (again, the Oriental mart) and lime slices on a pretty plate.  People can add these to the top of their soup by taste, as well as the Hoisin sauce and Rooster sauce.  

We eat Pho with chopsticks, and then use a spoon to slurp up the broth.

I have to be honest – the picture below is NOT my Pho.  It is from my favorite – Pho ’79 in Virginia Beach.  In my eyes, this is a picture of sheer beauty. Enjoy!