Stupidity « Shoot Me Now

Shoot Me Now

» Stupidity

Kids are Stupid
Published on Wednesday, July 23, 2014 by No, seriously. Kids can be really stupid. That includes your kids, my kids, your nieces, nephews or any shorties you happen to know. And it also includes you and me at some point in our lives. Thank goodness we are all here to tell about it. I am referring to that one time when a child loses his or her brain and does something that is not only stupid but amazingly ...
You Won’t Believe What Was In My Ear
Published on Thursday, August 1, 2013 by …. Or maybe you will. A few weeks ago, I got sick.  Very, very sick.  WHO gets sick during the summer?!  ME, APPARENTLY! With me, a cold always leads to a sinus infection.  For more than ten days I was coughing, aching, weak and was having a difficult time breathing.  After day ten I was DONE.  Off to the clinic I went. The nurse practitioner had to wake ...
Ceiling Can Holders
Published on Thursday, July 18, 2013 by Sing it with me!  Don’t be shy!  Just like my daughter and I did on the way to the beach house last month.  In goes the Macklemore CD…. We begin to butt dance and belt out the following: Can we go back, this is the moment Tonight is the night, we’ll fight 'til it’s over So we put our hands up like the ceiling can holders….. …. And that is when I pau...
Top Ten Things I’ve Done As A Mom That I’m Not Proud Of
Published on Tuesday, May 4, 2010 by Jen at Redhead Ranting wrote a list of the top five things you should never give on Mother’s Day. Excellent list and I agree, a Dyson would be a dream come true. But I’m not sure I deserve it. With Mother’s Day around the corner, I have been looking back at the years gone by and have wondered how it all happened so fast. Motherhood has been a roller coaste...
How NOT to Tweet
Published on Friday, March 12, 2010 by My favorite blog pal Jen gave us excellent advice on how NOT to leave a comment. If only I had absorbed her great words of wisdom. For today, I went one step further. I tweeted about my breasts. By accident. You may remember my earlier post about a great urge I had to blog about a handsome young black man doctor and a particular part of my anatomy. Now, the an...
I Danced. I Crowed. I Had Big Hair.
Published on Thursday, March 11, 2010 by My house is falling apart around me.  I need to pull everything out to scrub, build and paint.  But home improvements mean money.  And time.  Both of which I simply do not have. But today, I have a great need to tell you about my toilets.  I have two in the house, and neither work correctly.  The children’s toilet?  Constantly dripping when the water is tu...
Mom Distributes Drugs While Delivering Girl Scout Cookies
Published on Tuesday, March 2, 2010 by All I can say is WOW.  A mother distributes drugs while delivering her daughter’s Girl Scout cookies?  They need to put this woman in jail. I mean, of all things sacred – it is the GIRL SCOUTS for heaven’s sake.  And Girl Scout cookies are iconic.  This is worse than the Girl Scout Cookie Flipping Incident.  Cookies and Drugs?  Incarcerate this mom and ...
My Brain Is A Scary Thing – But What DID That Dog Eat?
Published on Monday, February 22, 2010 by Self talk. We all do it.  Think about it – no pun intended.  Our minds are constantly chattering.  Picture yourself driving alone or trying to fall asleep.  Your brain is always noting things, thinking about things, questioning things – you are constantly talking to yourself. Wait.  I am assuming an awful lot.  Maybe it’s just me.  Probably.  Yup, mos...
My Quest To Pay Off The Quest While Giving A Little Credit To Myself
Published on Tuesday, November 3, 2009 by Three months ago I noticed I only had two more slips in my car payment book.  Had it been that long?  1, 2, 3, 4, 5.  Yes!  FIVE YEARS!  My car was just about paid off, and not a moment too soon. Last week was the final payment.  This meant I would have $370 more a month in my pocket.  What a godsend.  No more worry about how to pay for groceries every othe...
Google, Throw Me a Freakin’ BONE!
Published on Sunday, November 1, 2009 by When is the PR update?  Has the PR update started?  Why is the PR update late?  Yup, that was the internet buzz for so long this month.  And now… drum roll please…. Brrrrrrr….. the October 2009 PR update is HERE! Quick!  Run to the laptop!  Check my sites!!!  Up?  Down?  Let’s see…. Same, up one, down one, same, same… and for my blog?  ZERO. ...
Coffee And Underwear Do NOT Mix!
Published on Friday, September 11, 2009 by Anyone in the mood for coffee?  I know you can smell it.  Here, let me give you my shoe to suck on.  My hair clip tastes pretty good too.  And my underwear?  Yea, well, if you dare.  And if you want, you can go suck on my mattress at home.  Perhaps lick the floor?  Try the lamp, it's delicious.  Dark Mountain Roast, to be exact. Let me tell you all about t...
The Dangerous Kitchen
Published on Tuesday, September 1, 2009 by My kitchen is dangerous.  That's what my mom says.  You open the cabinet and things fall out on you.  You open the drawers and knives shoot out at you.  Indiana Jones would have a hard time getting from the door to the table in my kitchen. If I lived by myself, my cabinets and drawers would be neat.  Everything would be in order.  But I would rather have a ho...
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