It Was The Best Practical Joke EVER

As told by my high school band director, Jeff Bianchi.  Mr. Bianchi, if you are reading this, know that you are still thought of fondly by yours truly.

During my high school years, the school district would hold solo competitions.  You selected a piece of music and practiced until you were blue in the face.  Then came the fateful day when you went to a local school on Saturday to be judged by someone who sat behind a curtain in your designated classroom.

You were told you could just walk in and begin to play.  Behind the curtain was a music teacher or band director who knew how to play your particular instrument.  While you played, they would make notes on a clipboard and give you a final grade, to be posted later.  If you played well, you wound up with a medal and band geek bragging rights.

Jeff Bianci played french horn.  And he had a sense of humor.  When he was done judging his own group, he found a bit of free time, a bucket, water and a towel.  He then walked in to the french horn room as if he was a student, ready to play.  A nervous student, that is.

He sat down, fumbling with the chair.  Remember, the judge could only hear him and assumed he was a student ready to play his or her solo.  Mr. Bianchi made a few noises, whimpered and blew a note or two that he purposely flubbed.  Then he made a few more nervous noises.

From behind the curtain, he heard a calming voice.  “It’s OK.  Take your time.  Relax and try again.”

And so he did.  Whimper… tremble… chair scrape… a few blown notes.

“Try again” came from behind the curtain.

Chair scrape.  Whimper.  Tremble… and then Mr. Bianchi made a few hurling noises, wretched and threw the water-logged towel to the floor.  SPLAT!

He said the judge, his FRIEND, flew around the screen with a look of sheer panic on his face.  I believe Mr. Bianchi laughed so hard he nearly hurled.  Best practical joke EVER.