And For My NEXT Performance…

Published on Friday, August 21, 2009 by Katherine

Only me. Today was a good one.

Lunch was a good workout at Curves, then a quick drive to my regular 7-11 for a steaming cup of hot Dark Mountain Roast. Yes, nothing says, “workout cool-down” like hot coffee, don’t you agree?

Included in my purchase was a bottle of Vitamin Water. Energy, at that. As I walked toward the coffee area, bottle of Vitamin Water in hand, gravity got the best of me, AGAIN. Slow motion – you know how it goes. The moment when you realize the drink leaves your hand… slowly, slowly it tumbles, flips and lands with a CRASH on the floor. Only your bottle would remain intact. MY bottle, however, burst open and SPUN. How does a non-carbonated bottle of water burst and spin??!

I stood in utter disbelief. Vitamin water had poured onto the floor, seeped under the counter and then literally sprayed across and down the entire aisle. We are talking a good 20 foot spill, if not more.

To my great misfortune, there was a line of people right in front of me with nothing better to do but stare. Not even the “I’m going to glance for a minute and look away” kind of stare. This was, “I am looking at a moron who just spilled a drink across an entire floor and I’m not ashamed to stare” kind of stare.

One of the two employees came up to me with her angry eyes on. I said, “I am SO SORRY. If you get the mop, I will clean it up!” She silently walked to my favorite employee, Miss Caroline, who had her head down reading a manual. “Someone just spilled a drink all over the floor.” Without a moment’s hesitation, Caroline shook her head in utter disgust, still looking down. I meekly said, “It was me?” When she looked up and saw who it was, she shook her head even more.

She brought out the mop and let me at it. Big mistake on her part. While tending to the huge line of people, who are ALL STARING AT ME, I tried to figure out this mop-bucket contraption. I am a hardware tech – I can figure this out, right?

Well proudly, I did. GENTLY lift the dripping mop, place it in the little box and push the handle to squeeze out the water. Easy! Mop, Mop…. A little more confidence… Mop Mop. Time for more water, up goes the mop – quick as lightening and then….wait for it, wait for it….

SMACK! SPARK! I HIT THE LIGHT ON THE CEILING AND IT SPARKED! I mean a real, white electrical flare came out of that light. Then two adult men across the aisle started saying outloud to the store while POINTING AT ME, “She is going to break the light! Look at her!!! She is going to break that light!!!” THAT was the moment my insides shrunk to the size of a pea. Flushed face, beating heart, I held my head down and mopped, mopped mopped. Done. Let me OUT of here. Ring Ring! Ring Ring! “Oh Hi Mom! Oh, I’m mopping the 7-11 floor right now…” Her final words to me? “Only my daughter…”

If they put the security tape on YouTube, I am in trouble.